Randy Cassingham's Blog

Posted by Releana, AZ on August 2, 2007:

All I have to say about church and weddings is why? Hasn't anyone studied the formation of the Catholic church in detail? Why would we care what they have to say after the years of religious persecution it has wrought on those not willing to accept their "sensibilities"?

Of course they should get out of the wedding business. What validity does marriage have when celebrities are married and the divorced in a matter of hours? Why not let it be a legal binding contract between two parties, with the terms of divorce written in at the time of marriage? I know that is a pre-nup, everyone should have, otherwise she will get half.

And then can we do away with the electoral college.

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One topic at a time! But I have a question about your comments: so we'll outlaw the Catholics from doing marriage ceremonies, but it's OK for all the other sects and denominations to do them? -rc

Posted by Fr. Rick, LA on August 2, 2007:

A quick note: several people apparently have assumed that I'm Roman Catholic and that my comments are intended to apply only to that denomination. Neither is the case. My catholicism is Cantuarian, not Roman, and the comments are for all denominations and religions, including but not limited to Christian.

Posted by Richard in Sacramento, CA on August 2, 2007:

It kind of makes sense since all of this hubbub about same sex marriage is against Christian beliefs. To do this they would have to stop using the term 'marriage', since this IS a biblical term, and just start calling them civil unions. The term 'marriage' could then be used by Christians who would follow their civil union with a ceremony overseen by a priest.

Posted by Mat, WI on August 2, 2007:

My wife and I are both deeply devout atheists and tend towards socialism in our philosophy of government, so we would have actually rather liked to apply for a license for civil union.

Unfortunately in this state, we could only get a marriage license (oh well!).

As far as whether wedding or marriage have religious connotations, the Online Etymology Dictionary has a nice description: O.E. weddian "to pledge, covenant to do something, marry," from P.Gmc. *wadjojanan (cf. O.N. ve�ja "to bet, wager," O.Fris. weddia "to promise," Goth. ga-wadjon "to betroth"), from PIE base *wadh- "to pledge, to redeem a pledge" (cf. L. vas, gen. vadis "bail, security," Lith. vaduoti "to redeem a pledge"). Sense remained "pledge" in other Gmc. languages (cf. Ger. Wette "bet, wager");

Given the odds of a successful union, the "bet/Wager" definition has some weight!

Posted by Dave, So. CA on August 3, 2007:

Better that government AND religion both get out of the marriage business. Marriage, legally speaking, should be no more than a civil contract between two adult-just like any other contract. This would keep a lot of lawyers and moralists out of the mix. Forget all the other b.s. that has been attached to it since the Dark Ages.

Posted by Martin in Bermuda on August 3, 2007:

In France (where I got married) the church has no power to marry anyone. ONLY the state can marry anyone. You have to register with the town hall and the mayor or his/her deputy carries out the wedding. You can then,if you want (and my wife did) get the marriage blessed in a church.

Posted by Zee, NW IL on August 3, 2007:

I think it might solve a few problems, including the whole same sex marriage fiasco. If people are in love, who cares if they want to get married? I say let them, life is hard enough without other folks making it more difficult. If the church is no longer officiating weddings, then no one can (or should) be proposing whether it is moral or not. Love is love, no matter whom you love.

A few years ago I was ordained by the ULC in Modesto CA just so I could perform marriages for people who aren't religious, don't want to get married in a church, and feel the Justice of the peace is too impersonal. I can perform religious ceremonies, if asked, but I got ordained simply to be able to provide a service for nonbelievers.

Posted by Eric in Pittsburgh PA on August 4, 2007:

This is a brilliant idea, in my opinion, though I doubt most churches would go for it, since once people get their "civil" marriage, they'll be doing all that living together and having sex stuff (as though unmarried couples aren't doing that regularly anyhow), and the church would have to ignore that 5 years later when inviting them in to be married "in the eyes of God."

But still, in my books, it's a great concept and in the end would result in better marriages both in a civil and religious sense. Bravo to Fr. Rick for suggesting it.

Posted by Melodie, Olympia Washington on August 5, 2007:

This is such an encouraging thread. I thought I was pretty lonely as a Christian who thought that true separation of church and state would mean that civil unions were done by the state and marriages by the church - each according to the specific needs and beliefs of the individual church and the laws of the state.

I'm pleasantly surprised to see the number of folks who agree. So, how do we make it happen? Maybe we should all email the link to this discussion to all our elected representatives - and everyone else we know.

Posted by Juli, Eastern Ohio on August 5, 2007:

I, too, have long thought we should separate the civil union from the religious marriage. There are 4 types of couples: Those who want both the civil and the religious recognition; those who aren't religious, so they want only the civil union; those who want neither (we won't worry about them); and those who want to be married in the eyes of their congregation and deity, but for whatever reason they don't want all of the legal and civil recognition. Others have talked about the first two, but no one's mention the last one.

There are some disadvantages to marrying, especially a remarriage. For example, a widow can lose her late husband's pension and SS benefits or an ex-wife can go after the new wife's income for child support and alimony (at least in some states). For couples in this sort of situation, they can marry in their church and not worry about the legal disadvantages. If they need to, they can have papers drawn up that name each other as next of kin/power of attorney for specific situations.