Randy Cassingham's Blog

In last week's issue I discussed how the July Tagline Challenge story was one that's not meant to be funny, but rather is an example of the type of story I use to express outrage at something that's not right. It was about an idiot teen who crashed his car while pulling a stupid stunt, killing three friends. He disclaimed responsibility by saying "It's not really my fault. Anybody can drive off the road and hit a tree." It brought the largest ever number of entries to the monthly Challenge, plus one complaint by a reader who had to bury a child after a car accident who said the story went "over the line". I disagreed, noting "you know that many, many parents who get True used the story as an opportunity to bring up the subject of being responsible drivers to their teens, and you know most of those teens think the kid's excuse is beyond lame." The exchange brought several letters.

Craig in Minnesota: "Regarding [part of] your response to Michael in Connecticut, [where you wrote], 'Have you ever had to do CPR on a 7-year-old child? I have -- and he didn't make it.' Yes, I have. I did ambulance work in the inner city on the South side of Chicago for several years. I have been witness to every possible manner of mayhem to which a human body can be subjected. I have saved my own children's lives on several occasions. My one-year-old was choking on a chunk of popsicle. I cleared him and had him back in his high chair while my wife was still in hysterics -- the kid was no worse for wear one minute after the incident and I didn't miss any of the TV show I was watching. (The kid had the decency to choke during a commercial.) I think EMS, police and fire professionals not only become much more highly aware of what can and does happen, but we become much more matter-of-fact about it than the general public. This can be off-putting to those who have a sensitive incident in their lives, [but] I believe that you handled the issue correctly by dealing with the tragedy from an uninvolved spectator's perspective. That is how the vast majority of readers would see the article, and you are writing for the majority of your readers. This sometimes means that a minority will perceive insensitivity because of their unique situation or personal circumstances. Most of us have not experienced such a tragedy and it is irrational to expect that the whole world walk about on eggshells in deference to their loss. This is real life. Tragedies happen, but not to everyone. Sometimes stepping back and examining what has happened may prevent such a tragedy from happening to someone else." Which, to be sure, is a large part of the point of reporting such stories.

John in Colorado: "You handled your response with sensitivity and the only way you could. I may not always agree with what you write but I defended your right to write it. It's those who have never been in a situation of trying to save someone's life, and failing, who can't possibly understand the trauma associated with it, you as a peace officer, myself in Vietnam."

Actually, it wasn't my police experience that did it, since I was merely an on-call search and rescue deputy. (Though, now that I think of it, I was a police cadet in my teens, and did see some traumatic things during my formative years....) My main experience came from ambulance work, like Craig. Ambulance work really concentrates experience: for every 5 police cars, there's about one fire rescue truck. For every 5 fire rescue trucks, there's about one ambulance. (I made that statistic up, but it's probably pretty darn close; the bottom line is, ambulance personnel cover a very large area.)

Parker in Texas: "Almost all of have, and all of us will, face some sort of crisis in our life. I think in our PC world, too many people are looking for reasons to get pissed off at someone. Whether it's a kid that got killed or you have some affliction, people seem to wear it on their sleeve as some sort of badge. And so if someone dares to 'cross the line' and make a comment or a joke about it, Watch Out! Personally I'm sick and tired of it. I'm 48 and balding, my mom died when I was 15, my dad died of cancer, a cousin died of leukemia when she was 4 and I was 11, and I'm fat. I have never used those things to seek sympathy [and] I get quite irritated when people do. My sister even forgot one time when she was talking to me and said 'my mom died when I was 17 and...'. She wore mom's death like some sort of badge and used the sympathy angle so often she forgot she was talking to her brother."

For a woman's perspective, Liz in Germany: "Michael is obviously hurting, and saw your tagline challenge as an opportunity to vent -- which means he hasn't been venting enough. His comments lead me to believe he's given his own personal story of loss a pass entirely, instead of actively working through his grief. I also cannot imagine how he could assume you've never experienced tragedy yourself. I find your work reflects not only your wit (humor and intelligence), but a deep compassion and respect for human life and the quality thereof as well. I think you were being extremely cautious and considerate by prefacing the tagline challenge with your comments. However, I also think that the world is too full of tragedy to cry all the time. Even in the most tragic of events, I personally need some comic relief. We're all going to die someday, and even if it's of old age in our sleep it will still be a tragedy to the loved ones left behind. My Dad, for example, was at my Mom's home under hospice care the last eleven days of his life. He had cancer. I had flown in from Germany to California to be with them. I watched as he slowly deteriorated. He slipped into a coma the last five days of his life. I helped Mom change his diaper, and watched his body twist and writhe with pain although he was in a coma. I am the one who found him dead just five minutes after the last time I saw him still alive. I was shocked and devastated. I had to break the horrible news to my Mom and Sister, who were in the other room. We cried -- wailed -- endlessly, but somehow Sis and I joked about things like how we could put the 'fun' back into 'funeral'. It sounds sick to an outsider, but you just need that comic relief! On the other hand, if you never talk to anyone about your experience, the subject becomes taboo, not to mention the joking about it. And you weren't even doing that, Randy. So don't even worry for a minute that you might have possibly crossed any lines. And please continue what you're doing in the way only you can do it. Hopefully Michael will find someone he can talk to about his pain instead of inflicting it on others."

In great contrast, Don in Michigan writes in general response to True, not that one story: "I don't take coffee breaks, stop during the day for small-talk or to surf, and I usually eat on the run. But each week when 'THIS is TRUE' appears in my in-box, I take the time to get a cup of coffee, sit down for a few minutes, and read it. And although some of the stories reinforce how generally twisted our world is, and what depths of stupidity, rudeness, insensitivity, and/or evil people seem ready, willing, and able to unleash on their friends, family, pets and strangers, you orchestrate an excellent overall balance of stories profiling bad behavior versus good, stupid versus smart, callousness versus caring, all while passing everything through your filters of fairness, objectivity and justice."