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Randy Cassingham's BlogHistorical Details and Author's Notes from This is True®
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Hiding Places
There were two wonderful stories in this week's issue that really go nicely together. And one has a photo that has to be seen to be believed. Let's start with the stories, from True's 15 January 2012 issue:
Weekly Weird News
Tempest in a C Cup
Police in Mesa, Ariz., pulled over a car at 2:00 a.m. during a search for a suspect wanted for weapons violations. When an officer asked the people in the car if they had any weapons, Angela Lynn Milhoan, 20, admitted she had a .22-caliber semi-automatic pistol in her right bra cup. She was arrested: it's not only illegal for someone under 21 to carry a concealed weapon, but police say Milhoan is a felon, and is therefore prohibited from possessing weapons. (RC/Arizona Republic) ...The magazine full of ammo? Leftit, naturally.
A lot of guys are hoping for a mug shot of Miss Milhoan, but that's not what I have for you today. Read on. Right on the heels of that story is this one:
Rectum, Hell -- It Damn Near Killed 'Im!
A North Carolina state trooper spotted a man wanted in Georgia on a murder charge. When the trooper and a backup unit got the man pulled over, the suspect rolled up his windows and locked his door; the troopers forced the door open and had to subdue Michael Ward with a Taser. Ward allegedly gave a false name during his booking, and was strip-searched, and no contraband was found. When Ward complained of heart problems and said he couldn't walk, he was taken to a hospital. He was released back to custody after a checkup. Through all of this, no one found the full-sized .38-caliber revolver that Ward had hidden "in a body cavity," as WECT-TV delicately put it. The gun was discovered the next day during a cell check; Ward was returned to the hospital for another checkup to ensure the gun didn't do any damage. The gun, investigators say, was not loaded, but was "in operational condition." (RC/WECT-TV) ...The six empty tubes of KY Jelly in his car should have been a clue.
Now, a mug shot might be interesting, but really it's rather humdrum:
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Yeah, OK: typical mug shot. This is Michael Ward.No, it's this photo that will make a lot of people gasp (or at least wince!):
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Got a holster for that? When I said it was a full-sized revolver, I meant it. Here's a photo of it lying on an 8.5x11" sheet of paper, with a ruler just to drive the point home.Six tubes of lube just wouldn't be enough for mortal men!
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24 Comments on This Entry
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Posted by Greg, South Australia on January 16, 2012:
Hmmm... maybe someone told him to "shove it up your big fat a...".
Posted by Matt - Vancouver, WA on January 16, 2012:
Looks like an old S&W Victory or N model. A real nasty way to treat a fine classic weapon.
If some thug pulled one on me, I would probably tell him where to shove the thing. Looks like this guy took someone's advice to heart.
Still, a cruel way to treat a nice revolver.
Posted by Jeremy, Sydney, Australia on January 16, 2012:
The capacity of his cavity suggests that he may have experienced life behind bars already....
Posted by Ron, Delaware on January 17, 2012:
No wonder he complained of "heart problems and said he couldn't walk". I felt the same after looking at the ruler....
Posted by Jeremy - Rochester, NY on January 17, 2012:
Perhaps a more likely explanation is that the police don't want to admit they missed the weapon when there were allegedly searching him? "It must have been in a body cavity" could be what they're saying to keep their jobs.
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I don't think that's too easily faked. -rc
Posted by Roger-Delray Beach, FL on January 17, 2012:
To have a rectal orifice THAT LARGE, he's either an ex-con, who spent too much time in the showers, or a D.C. POLITICIAN with "cranio-rectal inversion"!! You can figure THAT one out yourself.
Posted by Hank - Charlottesville, VA on January 17, 2012:
Can we say that all his problems are behind him?
Posted by Mike from Dallas on January 17, 2012:
So far, nobody's mentioned the young lady with the gun concealed in her bra. So let me say this about that:
If you've gotit, flauntit.
(Right cup, Clyde.)
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There has been surprisingly little comment about my tag on that story! -rc
Posted by Lynda, Sacramento, CA on January 17, 2012:
OUCH! That would put childbirth to shame and I have had two kids!
Posted by Sue in Bremerton on January 19, 2012:
Actually I rather liked the tag line for the bra/holster story. I just wonder what her boyfriend might have thought during an amorous session. Back to Mae West, is that a flashlight in your pocket... you know the rest. Is that a gun in your bra or WHAT?
Posted by Mike, Illinois on January 20, 2012:
It seems that Michael was tryin to give new meaning to "Blow it Out Your Ass".
Posted by Bob - Michigan on January 20, 2012:
I'm guessing he's not known as Quick Draw Ward though.
Posted by Stephen - Montana on January 20, 2012:
I'm surprised you haven't caught any flak for your caption under the mugshot.
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Huh? It's not a bizarre mug shot, as is typical here and on Mug Shot Museum. Reading anything more than that into the caption is absurd. -rc
Posted by Steven, Stuttgart AR on January 21, 2012:
I've been told of the ultimate fate of firearms after an arrest, and I have had a type of remorse for them. I really do understand the logic and agree with it, though I have an appreciation for guns. But given the journey of these firearms, I'm glad that they will be destroyed. I shudder to think of holding either after they have been....
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I can understand the second one, but I wouldn't have any problem handling the first one. -rc
Posted by Hirsch, Baltic, CT on January 21, 2012:
Just thinking about where that could be hurts. I have had a constant headache since December 27, on heavy prescription medication for it. He must have had a very trustworthy friend help him get it up there.
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The very thought is boggling. -rc
Posted by Lionel, Carmarthen, Wales, UK on January 21, 2012:
What kind of a***hole would do that to a fine gun?
Posted by Dave - Virginia on January 21, 2012:
You want more comments on the first story? Okay, fine....
First, given that I live in the suburbs of Washington DC, where so many companies and agencies and departments and bureaus and programs and so on and so forth go by acronyms, I can't help but note that it's rather apropos for This Is True.
Second, you may have heard of Thunderwear, a holster that goes down the front of the pants. However, this story reminds me of a similar but newer product, the Flash-Bang Holster. It straps onto an underwire bra.
Posted by DClark, Washington on January 21, 2012:
So instead of a 38 she only had a 22 eh?
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I figured it was only a matter of time before the "pair of .44s" jokes started. -rc
Posted by Rick, Antelope, CA on January 22, 2012:
It could ahve been worse, the gun in the cup coulda been a "Boobie trap".
Posted by Andrew, Melbourne, Australia on January 22, 2012:
Lucky that Michael Ward in the second story didn't blow his brains out!!
Posted by Kay, Australia on January 22, 2012:
OK, so I actually didn't get the joke on the bra gun. Leftit, Left Tit, all good so far, but there's clearly a second meaning and a reason why you ran the words together -- is it a brand of ammunition or something? Google for once helped very little. Closest fit was a guy making a joke about "leftit at home".
The gun butt guy -- wow. Plus size butt plug for him, I guess. Maybe his boyfriend misunderstood an instruction....
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You're overthinking leftit. You got the one meaning, but "at home" is the clue to the second meaning: left it (or "forgot it") at home. -rc
Posted by Mitch, KC MO on January 23, 2012:
That gun looks like a piece of crap. (Sorry -- couldn't help myself.)
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I came this close to making the same comment in my original write-up. -rc
Posted by Juli, Ohio on January 23, 2012:
On the second story, am I the only one who wonders if it was inserted barrel first, handle first, or what? If none of the firearm was protruding, such that it could have been missed during a search, he must put Goatse to shame. If you don't know Goatse, Google it, but have brain bleach handy.
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I don't think I dare. -rc
Posted by Phil, San Antonio, Texas, USA on February 13, 2012:
They found the revolver during a cell check? I'm surprised they didn't hear screaming bloody murder as he passed it! Papillon would be proud of his accomplishment.