Randy Cassingham's Blog

Sure it's fair.

There are no lawyers in heaven because there is no need for them there. No crime, no mischief, no courts, no lawsuits.

A good definition of Hell would be to be eternally caught up in litigation, so they certainly need them there!

Besides, people go to heaven (or any other afterlife) because of the way they lived their lives, not what job they held... it's the one "law" even lawyers can't appeal! ;-)

Fair or not, it was funny.

Your comments about the complexity created by lawyers reminded me of this:

Lawyers are the only profession that if we didn't have any, we wouldn't need any.

Lawyers certainly need to work on their public image. It is the (large) minority of shysters that make the (majority of) legitimate others look bad...

I have no idea if there is a heaven or a hell, or where lawyers, or others go. I think it is more important to make things livable and bearable and fair for all of us HERE, where we are now.

If lawyers are bothered by such comments, it indicates their work is not done... And maybe some self-policing amongst lawyers is needed.

At any rate, anyone who has read "This is True" or its sister publications should be acquainted with Randy's, ah, er, sense of humor.

Perhaps some lawyers - and some others - need broader shoulders. Or perhaps the lack of very many responses to Randy's Joke, indicates a lot of people understood the joke...

Keep up the good work Randy. You usually make us think and laugh. And that's good.

It's a joke, not a philosophical truth. Jokes don't work because they are balanced or fair. The problem for me is that it is a punch line from a very old joke, making the comment lack the intended humor. Hopefully those that hadn't heard the joke before found it funny.

Randy, love the lawyer joke (having been the butt of blonde jokes for 70 yrs).

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Jumbo Joke has a nice selection of dumb blonde jokes too! :-) -rc

The Archdiocese of Los Angeles settled with those who brought accusations against a number of priests for abuse. The Church is paying over $660 million. The lawyer's take? Around $264 million. Even though I am Catholic, and acknowledge that ANYone who is in a position of trust is liable for prosecution, I find it difficult to swallow that lawyers, in assumed positions of trust, are walking away with 40% of the settlement. Additionally, some lawyers represented multiple plaintiffs - probably charged them all the same chunk o' change.

While on the subject of whether members of the legal fraternity ascend into some attorneys' afterworld, the Dutch I believe have a pertinent expression:

Lawyers will go to heaven .... when hell is full up.

I think the tagline was perfectly fair. You said yourself that lawyers created this negative image for themselves, and that it is indeed a tidal wave of dirty water with a few clean drops here and there. You said that if they want how they are perceived because of their profession, they have to take steps to change it. Is that not what you're doing? Adding to the reasons for them to change our collective view of lawyers?

Things are looking grim in the world of law these days, I don't think anyone can reasonably deny that. Sure, there have been improvements since years gone past, but we've got new problems now.

Arthur, that would indeed be nice, wouldn't it? Of course, in order for such a thing to happen, lawyers would have had to never existed in the first place. Now that the system is in place, it's impossible to get rid of, especially with the "step on my toes and I'll sue your pants off, along with everyone you've ever known" mentality that seems to be popular.

Ever wonder if the sarcastic "Sue me!" remark is what brought all this on? Someone replied, "You know what, I will!" :P

Actually my lawyer is a great guy and an extremely competent lawyer. That doesn't mean I don't share the bias against the profession. I seem to remember that Cicero also shared that. The more famous the lawyer, the "star type" the most offensive they get and it is a fact of life that justice is different for people who have money.

Regardless of where you stand on the issue, no lawyers in Heaven is funny. That said, far and away, the majority of lawyers I have encountered professionally are honest decent individuals who try to do the right thing. Of course, as an RN in hospital administration, I have a certain bias on which lawyers I associate with, usually defense counsel for my hospital. The types of litigation I see in healthcare can sometimes involve truly meritorious claims and sometimes involve simply ludicrous claims.

The common theme I see in all of these claims is abysmally poor communication and absolute denial of any personal responsibility for our own actions on both sides of the issues. The plaintiff often feels entitled not only to recovery but also to the right to inflict retaliatory pain and suffering on the defendant. Defendants almost universally deny any culpability even when it is blatantly self evident. The ensuing trial by combat is almost guaranteed to bring out the worst in everyone. Egregious demands that have no equity to the injury, disparaging comments about the other side by both parties, and reliance on superior technical arguments as opposed to factual merits have lead to the inevitable outcome known as American jurisprudence.

Although it’s very humorous to note that if there were no lawyers, we wouldn’t need lawyers, the truth is much more damning: if there were no lawyers, we’d create them.

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Studies have shown that when doctors say "I made a mistake, I'm sorry," it results in fewer malpractice lawsuits. As long as apologies can't be used of evidence in lawsuits, we're better off simply admitting our mistakes. That's the human thing to do. -rc