Randy Cassingham's Blog

Posted by Phil, San Antonio, Texas, U.S.A. on October 19, 2009:

It's an overreaction on Nancy's part.

Do little girls scream? Yes or no? Yes, they do, therefore your analogy was correct.

By the way, had you used the "stuck pig" analogy, I'm sure PETA or some other pork-hugging group would have objected as well.

Posted by Glenn, Sterling Heights, MI on October 19, 2009:

As a 66-year-old man, I can remember when "screamed like a little girl" meant nothing more than what was said.

Posted by Bill - Potomac, MD on October 19, 2009:

I don't know if Nancy overreacted or not. My feeling is that the phrase is a tired cliche, and is not worth using. It is lazy writing, and you are not a lazy writer.

Posted by Brendan, Florida on October 19, 2009:

I don't think it is political correctness gone awry. If you would listen to my 4 year old boy cry, of which I put about 4 minutes of on youtube today for posterity, you might agree that the sex doesn't matter, but the age often does.

That being said would scream like a little boy have created the same imagery in your reader's minds?

Posted by George, SF Bay Area, CA on October 19, 2009:

I beg to differ with Nancy; she is in fact demanding "political correctness". And yes, I think she has her sensitivity meter cranked up too high on this one.

Posted by Sam, California on October 19, 2009:

What could you have used as an analogy? What did their screams liken to? Themselves perhaps?

Analogy is useful to put a picture into the reader/listener's mind in order to fully or more clearly pass on the emotion contained in the report. Without this analogy you could have said, simply 'They screamed'. Dull and inexpressive.

Some expressive stereotype was needed to convey the story appropriately. Should you have said 'screamed like a Scotsman?' Or 'screamed like a man in labor?'

The 'little girl' reference may not be flattering but is is a common stereotype and is often true. I think Nancy would have been justified in her complaint if you had been directing your ire at women, little girls, herself or some other person outside of the story.

It is unfortunate that this phrase was taken by Nancy as an insult but your intention seems to have been to insult and, when choosing to insult someone, there are no cases where the insult itself will not be offensive. Perhaps Nancy would have better served her intentions if she had offered constructive advice on what you should have written rather than just what you shouldn't have.

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Bottom line, to refer back to Bill in Maryland: I'd much rather be "lazy" than "dull and inexpressive"! -rc

Posted by Ellen, Trumbull, CT on October 19, 2009:

Isn't it bleeding that stuck pigs do well?

I suppose "shriek like a banshee" would have worked.

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In Irish mythology, a Banshee ("woman of the fairy mounds", or in Welsh, "Hag of the mist"!!) is always female -- so I would have had the same problem! -rc

Posted by Randall, Taylorsville, UT on October 19, 2009:

Over-reaction.

I raised two boys and four girls.

If you had written. "Run in circles! Pull out your hair! Scream like a little child!" I would have imagined one of my daughters, never one of the boys.

Now that they are grown, none of them would do it.

Posted by Kim, Sapulpa, OK on October 19, 2009:

Well, I am female, and I STILL scream like a girl because that is exactly what I am, and I'm proud of it. The fact that I can scream more, louder, or at a higher pitch than some men or scream more often that most men makes no difference to me because it is the way God made me.

Case in point: Last week I'm awaiting a pizza delivery. We live on 20 acres outside of town in the "extended delivery area." Pizza delivery person calls and is lost. I peek out window and see him in front of my driveway. I open the door so he can see the open door and flip on the porch light. I scream bloody murder into the phone because there, on a giant web, in what would appear to be a perfect Halloween decoration is a spider the size of Texas. I slam the door shut, throw down the phone and tell my husband that I'm moving out if he does not act quickly - to which he gives a small eye roll and proceeds to the door. He opens the door, expecting a small spider, assuming I have emotionally over-reacted as usual in his estimation. Instead, he finds a spider that was about 3.5 by 2.5 inches at perfect face level. Its back has neon green spots. It looks like it is ready to eat us. He is equally as shocked as I was.

Did he scream? No.

He said "HOLY $H!*!!" (emphasis on HOLY like HO LEE as if it were really two words) -- and slammed the door just like I slammed the door.

I am a woman. I was made different. And I am proud of that fact. It is perfectly okay to scream like a girl. That is who I am. That is a characteristic of most girls. The problem is not that we are different. The problem is that people try to make out the fact that we ARE different as a bad thing.

Well it's not.

I scream like a girl, and I fight like a girl. Women are stronger than men in a lot of ways. We can do things they can't. They can do things we can't. I'm speaking in general, of course, not in absolutes.

Nancy seems to think that screaming implies that you are weak. I find it a part of human nature. "It is what it is." I scream ...A LOT. I can't help it. I probably scream more than three-fourths of the women I know. I can't watch a half-scary movie without screaming. Does that make me weak, Nancy?

No. No way in hell.

Does being scared of spiders make me weak? I don't think so. I think it is a healthy fear since I know nothing about which spiders are bad for my health, and which ones are my friends. Does anyone want to call my husband weak for that? I dare you to do it to his face, and good luck in ICU if you take me up on that.

I think you took the comment a step further away from alleged sexist, Randy, by bringing it from just being female to being a child, and I can't find any fault in what you said.

I think Nancy should do some self reflection and ask herself why she thinks that being who you are is the same as being weak?

We need to teach our young children that when somebody points out a difference in men and women, it is not a bad thing. When somebody tells me I fight like a girl, I say "You're damn right!"

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Yes, there are definitely differences between men and women. There's a French phrase for that, too: "Vive la différence." And that's one I completely agree with! -rc

Posted by tom, San Diego on October 19, 2009:

"scream LIKE a little girl". to me that implies that it would have to be a male doing the screaming. you wouldn't say that "a girl screamed like a girl"...since by definition they would. so to say that someone is screaming like someone or something they are not, (in this case) it would appear that you are being sexist, only that you are implying that it is a male that is doing the screaming. but as a man, I am not offended.

but seriously. anyone who is looking to find insensitive messages hiding in writings are going to find them. as I have just shown, if you try hard enough you can twist ideas into just about anything you want to in order to fit your own preconceived notions of what was intended.

best advice I have ever been given, nobody can insult or offend you unless you let them.

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That is good advice. But regarding your premise, "'scream LIKE a little girl' implies that it would have to be a male doing the screaming," not necessarily. A little boy could, a grown man can -- and a grown woman might. -rc