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Randy Cassingham's BlogHistorical Details and Author's Notes from This is True®
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Paper-Based Spam
I'm getting sooooo sick of in-the-mail solicitations from credit card companies! But they're starting to make me angry, and I hope you'll join me in getting revenge. The major USA issuers subscribe to a service by one of the credit reporting agencies that will supposedly cut down on the mailings (toll-free: 888-567-8688). I called and registered with them, but I didn't notice any slow-down in the junk. But it's the new attitude they have that makes me angry.
Weekly Weird News
Have you noticed that many of the companies are starting to threaten their potential customers? When you get the solicitations, open them and look at the back of the postpaid return envelope: many of them have a bar code, and nearby it says (usually in all caps, but I'll spare you) "Warning: Tampering with this envelope or its contents may result in legal action."
Oh yeah? And no, I don't think that threat is aimed at potential identity thieves: "Gosh, we just want you felons to know that there could be action taken against you if you commit a felony against this envelope" doesn't exactly seem an effective deterrent to me. All it really does is signal to potential thieves that there's something of value inside to steal. Duh.
Here's what I do with these damned solicitations: I get the application form (the one with my name and address on it) and put a bright florescent sticker on it that says "Not Interested! STOP sending this material. Please delete us from your list." (I print them on my laser printer.) Then I put it in their postpaid envelope and send it back to them. But that's not enough: the ones that have bar codes on the envelope (which identifies you specifically)? I obliterate the bar code and the number under it with a permanent marker. It just takes one swipe with the pen if you go parallel to the bars -- it interrupts the laser so the bar code can't successfully be scanned. If it's got that ridiculous threat, too, I underline "legal action" and write "YES, PLEASE!"
Naturally, they've never taken "legal action" against me -- can you imagine the publicity?! "Credit card company sues customer for politely asking them not to send him so much junk mail." I'd have a field day with it. Of course, without my signature on the application they don't issue a card, either, even though I've sent back the application (they'd get in big trouble with federal regulators if they tried it). For one last bit of satisfaction, I put one of my Get Out of Hell Free stickers on the envelope, sometimes just using that to cover the bar code.
Unlike silly things like trying to mail them a brick with the postpaid envelope, which the post office won't deliver anyway, you're sending them a sincere message (even if it is "Leave me the hell alone!"), which I feel is a completely legitimate use of the envelope. If enough people do this it'll start costing them real money, and maybe they'll start paying attention to the people who say "Thank you, but NO." If nothing else, it's quite satisfying to make them pay the postage to get your protest. Give it a try!
Funny, but not too long after writing this, there was a dramatic drop in the number of credit card applications in the mail. Either my registration with the "OPT-OUT" service finally worked, or my rant did....
March 28 Update
Quite a few wrote to say I've got it all wrong about that threat. Some said it was just to "look official" so we'll open the envelope. Nope: it's not on the sending envelope, it's on the return envelope, which you never see if you don't open the solicitation. Quite a few more said the threat is not aimed at me, but rather a potential "identity thief". Could be, but I doubt it: first, how stupid is it to warn felons that the felony they are about to commit "may" subject them to legal action? Second, if the goal is to reduce ID theft, then how about not calling attention to the fact that there is something worth stealing in the envelope? And, finally, despite the fact I got several notes from readers who work for credit card companies, none of them disputed my contention that the warning was aimed at customers, not thieves. (One, in fact, confirmed it, though he said his company isn't one of the ones that do it.)
I asked others to join me in using the postpaid envelopes to send back the applications to repeat the request to stop; I use a sticker asking them to (again!) remove me from their mailing list. In response, Grig in Washington DC writes: "I love you, you know that right? But the credit card companies don't read [such requests]. They hire companies who have temps open thousands of these a day, and discard the non-application ones. A friend of mine named had this awesome idea given to her in college. Have some coupons you don't want? Mail them (useful) coupons instead of notes. The temps, often desperate minimum-wage-earning souls who are trapped by their economic conditions, could use those coupons. That way, not only are you sticking it to the company, but you are getting rid of coupons you may not need but someone else does, and not taking out your rage and hatred on the temps who don't even work for the company, anyway. You're making their day a bit brighter."
Indeed many readers said they tear up the applications before returning them, and/or stuff in all sorts of other things. Or send one company's application back in another company's envelope. What's the point? All I want is to stop getting the mail, not punish the poor schlubs who have the sucky job of opening the envelopes at the other end. Sending coupons is a nifty idea, but I doubt it helps anyone: surely keeping anything from the envelopes they open is a firing offense. So let's stick to the goal here: getting the junk to stop -- which will have the added benefit of increasing the proportion of "real" mail those temps have to open. You do that by sending back the part with your name and address on it with a note asking that they stop. If they use that refusal to open an account and send you a card? Then report them to the Federal Trade Commission: it's against federal law for them to do that.
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10 Comments on This Entry
All comments in this blog are reviewed prior to being published. Spammers: don't waste your time. The posting criteria are simple: if a comment is worth visitors' time to read, it's approved. If not, it's not.
Posted by Mike from Dallas on March 27, 2008:
Paper-based spam. Been around for years before the Internet. How can we punish illegal spammers for doing the exact same thing that legitimate companies have been doing for years? Junk mail in the mailboxes, telemarketing calls at dinnertime, LITTER in the form of 'information' dumped on my doorstep. And now even major companies are spamming my mailbox with offers that I don't want.
The opt-out function is worthless. Going to their site to change my 'preferences' is useless; within a month, my 'preferences' have mysteriously changed back. I even get spam from my Internet provider that I've finally taken to just blocking through the spam filter. I have some magazine subscriptions that, only a month or two after renewing, send me notices that my subscription is in danger of expiring and I should renew, apparently hoping that I won't remember that I recently did so, and send them even more money.
A couple years ago, I rented a P.O. box for my business mail, which quickly choked up on junk mail. Asking the post office not to do that was answered that the junk mailers pay to have their mail delivered and so it must be delivered. Personally, it seems to me that my business mail has been paid to be delivered, too, but it can't fit in with the junk mail. That's okay; I can just pick it up during business hours at the clerk's window. One, I'm working during business hours and, two, why can't I pick up the JUNK MAIL from the clerk's window instead?
And, business being what it is in a country of 300 million, one person's threat to discontinue doing business with such offending companies that send out literally tons of crap is met with unconcern. I don't want to hear about Global Warming and going Green and all the other hype about MY responsibilities for the environment until companies are forced to discontinue shipping out thousands of pounds of worthless paper each and every day through the postal system or neighborhood distribution at household doorsteps.
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I agree that mailers need to be held responsible for their damage, but don't agree with you that it's the same as spam. Mailers at least pay for the printing and postage themselves. Spammers don't: they STEAL the bandwidth, and usually the computing power, that they use to send their messages. That's criminal, and should be prosecuted zealously. -rc
Posted by Larry, from SF Bay Area on March 28, 2008:
Mike from Dallas: The PO clerk was correct. The Post Office MUST deliver all mail on which proper postage has been paid, even if you ask them not to. Congress has passed laws requiring it, and the courts have upheld those laws. The only way to stop it is at the source, by asking the mailer not to send it, and we all know how successful that will be. There is a limited exception for sexually oriented mail, whereby you can direct the post office to put you on a list, which mailers of sexually oriented mail must consult and remove your name from their mailing list. There are two forms for SO mail. One puts you on the Post Office list.
The other (PS Form 1500) is for mail from a specific mailer, and you turn it in to the post office with the objectionable piece of mail, and the mailer gets a letter from the USPS, directing that they remove your name from their mailing list. The kicker is that YOU determine what is objectionable. When I was still working at the post office, we had one customer who submitted the form attached to a Sears catalog. He considered the catalog "sexually oriented" material because it had pictures of women modeling lingerie... and we HAD to accept it, and forward it on to legal. And Sears had to remove his name from their mailing list, or face criminal penalties. He also did it with some other catalogs, none of which had women modeling lingerie in them, but did have kitchen appliances and household items.
So... I guess you could return those credit card applications to the post office with PS Form 1500 and get your name off their mailing list.
Posted by Bill from Phoenix on March 28, 2008:
When I lived in parts of the country where having a fireplace was a good thing, I loved getting this kind of mailing. With cheap shredders available, it is even better. You can make some decent paper logs for the fireplace or woodstove out of this. http://www.two3five.com/paperlog.htm has some interesting ideas, including the one I used of soaking the paper, squeezing it in a flower pot with drain holes and letting it dry.
Posted by Ernest Junee, NSW, Australia on March 29, 2008:
I have a friend who runs a debt collection agency and he sends this type of mail back with a note on the agency letterhead signed by his secretary asking to be notified if they find the addressee as they wish to have a word with him. that seems to work as well.
Posted by Mike, Arcadia, Calif. on March 29, 2008:
Just write with a bold-tip Sharpie on the face of the unopened envelope "Deceased - return to sender" and drop it in the mailbox.
The sender gets told that the address is no good, and they have to pay a premium for the service (they get charged return postage).
Posted by Lynn, Salt Lake City, UT on April 1, 2008:
The "Deceased - Return to Sender" thing only works if the envelope either has first-class postage (hardly any of them do) or has the words "Service Requested" along with anything besides "Return Service Requested", which hardly any of them do. I work for the U.S. Postal Service processing returned & forwarded mail. First-Class mail will get returned, but the service has already been paid for with the first-class stamp. Standard mail will get returned ONLY if it has one of the standard endorsements. "Return Service Requested" is a free service that returns the envelope along with forwarding address information. Most of them are now using electronic forwarding info. I know, too much info, but in a nutshell, writing "Deceased" on the envelope won't make them pay a premium.
Posted by Roy, Wichita Kansas on April 5, 2008:
I recently noticed a huge drop in the amount of junk mail I receive and realized that I was no longer getting solicited by Capital One five times a week (often two offers on a single day!).
Now if my current bank would just stop with the "Steal me" mailings boldly labeled "Account Information Enclosed" which contain "checks" I can use to access the high-interest + high-fee cash equivalent side of my credit card. I keep expecting someone to steal and use those checks which I have no use for.
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Call your credit card company and ask them to stop sending them. Both companies I use got them turned off easily. -rc
Posted by Jenna, Michigan on April 11, 2008:
Most of the credit card offers I get have a thing on it that mentions something about "Contact here to be removed from these types of offers" or something to that effect. I've never gotten around to trying it, but wouldn't that work?
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That's a positive development. I would think it would work -- for that particular company. But how many companies do you have to say "no" to how many times? -rc
Posted by Mark, West Virginia on March 23, 2009:
I keep a pretty sloppy desk. I use these envelopes to send them my scrap paper that I'm too lazy to throw in the garbage can next to my desk. I just sent Capital One a Chinese Menu from a place where the food is not very good :)
Posted by Ed, Alaska on February 1, 2010:
I, too, have subscribed to the service that is supposed to eliminate solicitations without any reduction in junk mail. Capital One is the worst offender. I always return their pre-paid envelope hoping that if enough of us did the same then there would be a positive outcome. Sometimes weeks or months go by without a Capital One solicitation. Sometimes I am so swamped, that on one specific day I got around to returning three envelopes. I am terribly offended by the suit-threatening 'tampering' warning which is directed to potential customers. How rude! How anti-customer service!
Moreover, they include a message how to stop further offers. So then, they acknowledge they are pestering people! I refuse to make extra effort "their way" to get them to stop pestering me. Just think of all the trees Capital One kills for their never-ending barrage of junk mail.