Randy Cassingham's Blog

I'm getting sooooo sick of in-the-mail solicitations from credit card companies! But they're starting to make me angry, and I hope you'll join me in getting revenge. The major USA issuers subscribe to a service by one of the credit reporting agencies that will supposedly cut down on the mailings (toll-free: 888-567-8688). I called and registered with them, but I didn't notice any slow-down in the junk. But it's the new attitude they have that makes me angry.

Have you noticed that many of the companies are starting to threaten their potential customers? When you get the solicitations, open them and look at the back of the postpaid return envelope: many of them have a bar code, and nearby it says (usually in all caps, but I'll spare you) "Warning: Tampering with this envelope or its contents may result in legal action."

Oh yeah? And no, I don't think that threat is aimed at potential identity thieves: "Gosh, we just want you felons to know that there could be action taken against you if you commit a felony against this envelope" doesn't exactly seem an effective deterrent to me. All it really does is signal to potential thieves that there's something of value inside to steal. Duh.

Here's what I do with these damned solicitations: I get the application form (the one with my name and address on it) and put a bright florescent sticker on it that says "Not Interested! STOP sending this material. Please delete us from your list." (I print them on my laser printer.) Then I put it in their postpaid envelope and send it back to them. But that's not enough: the ones that have bar codes on the envelope (which identifies you specifically)? I obliterate the bar code and the number under it with a permanent marker. It just takes one swipe with the pen if you go parallel to the bars -- it interrupts the laser so the bar code can't successfully be scanned. If it's got that ridiculous threat, too, I underline "legal action" and write "YES, PLEASE!"

Naturally, they've never taken "legal action" against me -- can you imagine the publicity?! "Credit card company sues customer for politely asking them not to send him so much junk mail." I'd have a field day with it. Of course, without my signature on the application they don't issue a card, either, even though I've sent back the application (they'd get in big trouble with federal regulators if they tried it). For one last bit of satisfaction, I put one of my Get Out of Hell Free stickers on the envelope, sometimes just using that to cover the bar code.

Unlike silly things like trying to mail them a brick with the postpaid envelope, which the post office won't deliver anyway, you're sending them a sincere message (even if it is "Leave me the hell alone!"), which I feel is a completely legitimate use of the envelope. If enough people do this it'll start costing them real money, and maybe they'll start paying attention to the people who say "Thank you, but NO." If nothing else, it's quite satisfying to make them pay the postage to get your protest. Give it a try!

Funny, but not too long after writing this, there was a dramatic drop in the number of credit card applications in the mail. Either my registration with the "OPT-OUT" service finally worked, or my rant did....

March 28 Update

Quite a few wrote to say I've got it all wrong about that threat. Some said it was just to "look official" so we'll open the envelope. Nope: it's not on the sending envelope, it's on the return envelope, which you never see if you don't open the solicitation. Quite a few more said the threat is not aimed at me, but rather a potential "identity thief". Could be, but I doubt it: first, how stupid is it to warn felons that the felony they are about to commit "may" subject them to legal action? Second, if the goal is to reduce ID theft, then how about not calling attention to the fact that there is something worth stealing in the envelope? And, finally, despite the fact I got several notes from readers who work for credit card companies, none of them disputed my contention that the warning was aimed at customers, not thieves. (One, in fact, confirmed it, though he said his company isn't one of the ones that do it.)

I asked others to join me in using the postpaid envelopes to send back the applications to repeat the request to stop; I use a sticker asking them to (again!) remove me from their mailing list. In response, Grig in Washington DC writes: "I love you, you know that right? But the credit card companies don't read [such requests]. They hire companies who have temps open thousands of these a day, and discard the non-application ones. A friend of mine named had this awesome idea given to her in college. Have some coupons you don't want? Mail them (useful) coupons instead of notes. The temps, often desperate minimum-wage-earning souls who are trapped by their economic conditions, could use those coupons. That way, not only are you sticking it to the company, but you are getting rid of coupons you may not need but someone else does, and not taking out your rage and hatred on the temps who don't even work for the company, anyway. You're making their day a bit brighter."

Indeed many readers said they tear up the applications before returning them, and/or stuff in all sorts of other things. Or send one company's application back in another company's envelope. What's the point? All I want is to stop getting the mail, not punish the poor schlubs who have the sucky job of opening the envelopes at the other end. Sending coupons is a nifty idea, but I doubt it helps anyone: surely keeping anything from the envelopes they open is a firing offense. So let's stick to the goal here: getting the junk to stop -- which will have the added benefit of increasing the proportion of "real" mail those temps have to open. You do that by sending back the part with your name and address on it with a note asking that they stop. If they use that refusal to open an account and send you a card? Then report them to the Federal Trade Commission: it's against federal law for them to do that.