Randy Cassingham's Blog

Posted by Mike from Dallas on June 21, 2010:

I like to tell people that I don't have all my toes on one foot. Immediately they become very solemn, and then I explain, I have 5 on one foot, and 5 on the other. They're not ALL on one foot.

Poor taste? So what? Get over it. Life is too short and there are way too many people for me to worry about possibly offending SOMEone's sensibilities. As the guy said who runs the daily funnies site, everyone has the right to be offended by whatever they choose, and I have the equal right to not care.

Besides, as I've taught my students, you cannot control the people around you; you can only control your OWN reaction to them. Something that the Poor Taste Police would do well to remember.

Posted by Tami in Redlands, CA on June 21, 2010:

I believe the way you handle a "disability" makes all the difference in the world. I used to work with a gentleman who was a very large (big and tall) man. He had polio as a young child and had one shrunken arm. Occasionally, the arm would get in the way, so he'd just flip it behind his back. One of his co-workers started calling him "Flipper".

When I first met him, I was offended that this other man was making fun of him...until the "disabled" man told me he thought it was funny. He NEVER considered himself disabled. Even when situations would occur that made it difficult to do his job with only his good hand, he never considered filing an ADA complaint. He just went in, explained why it was a problem, and got it resolved. He's one of the lovliest people I know and every time I hear about these people who cry "DISABILITY", I think of Dennis and remember that there are people out there who don't let things get in their way and don't live with the victim mentality. By the way, Dennis was a Fire 911 Dispatcher for many years. These are our everyday heroes.

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Another "disabled" person who serves not as an object of pity, but an inspiration. Dennis sounds like a cool guy! -rc

Posted by bandit, albuquerque on June 21, 2010:

Randy: Aw, shucks - I'm famous because of you (at least widely unknown...)

The simplest way to think of not having "everything" (although ... umm .. I can pass two short arm inspections ..) is to treat it like a hobby. 75% of things are the same, 23% are more interesting, and 2% are a reason to face the day. I'm an engineer. Duct tape, hot glue, cable ties, and sticky back velcro are great things.

One of the biggest pains is buying gloves. Ever try to buy just one glove? Fortunately, my boss told me about this guy, a cowboy entertainer without the other hand, so we can trade. I need to find out where his show is near me to go see him. (He has trained buffaloes for his act.)

I like Ralston & Metz - always glad to see new members of the club - normally it costs an arm and a leg - they got in for half price!

Pretty cool a company gave Metz a new system. (I bet the instructions assume the user has two hands.)

I would encourage him to live without a prosthetic for a while though - just a suggestion. (If I were to "lose" my right hand, I might get one - it might be handy from time to time. Also see "Manny" in Heinlein's "Moon is a Harsh Mistress".)

(Love the comment about all toes not on one foot. Gonna steal that...)

Keep stirring the pot, Randy. I figured you were going to blog about this. (wanna join the club? I have a chop saw. My consulting fees afterward are half-off....(grin))

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You know how hard it would be to type with only one hand? Oh: yeah, I guess you do. :-)

In my ambulance days, I used to say I drove with one hand, talked on the radio with my other hand, and worked the siren with my other other hand. I suppose I would adapt. But for now, I want to be able to continue to type at >100 wpm. That's the only way I get everything done! -rc

Posted by jeannemarie, nj on June 21, 2010:

i think both these young men are amazing! they both have a sense of humor which will help them get through life. for some reason i thought your would be about another set of amazing young men:

nick vujicic born without limbs

the john robinson story born without full arms or legs. he has stubs.

Posted by Melanie, Canberra (Australia) on June 21, 2010:

...I'm really, really glad the new boiler was donated WITH installation. :)

Posted by Allen Benton, AR on June 21, 2010:

I'm reminded of a man I used to work for. Both his dad and granddad had lost a leg in industrial accidents in their mid forties. When he was a kid he thought that when men in his family got to a certain age they lost a limb.

This was a natural thing in life. Neither man stopped working because of his accident. They just went on with their lives and got back to earning a living.

He always said that he was ready to lose a limb and didn't think that it would bother him. He had been ready since he was a kid.

Posted by John, Denver on June 21, 2010:

My dad worked in a dangerous vocation. He was a cop. He had to learn how to cope with many awful things. Humor was his mechanism. This doesn't mean that he lacked compassion, nor does it mean that he didn't take his job and taking care of the public seriously. It just meant that he had used laughter to cope with the realities of being a cop.

I don't work in nearly as dangerous of a profession, but I'm at risk of being mauled (and almost have been a couple of times). I learned to laugh it off.

People that don't learn to take a lighter attitude to cope with things (and yes, this applies to things that happen around us too, not just things that happen to us directly) often add to the bad stress in their lives. They don't actually help anything.

Learn to laugh.

Just because something is laughed at, doesn't mean that people aren't taking it seriously.

Posted by Bob, Herne Bay, England on June 22, 2010:

I had an eye removed six months ago (there was a malignant tumour in it). At the hospital, they told me that other people would find it a problem much more than I did. And they were right.

You see, I'd known about the tumour for five years. And I knew the day would probably come when the eye had to go. The operation was minor, and I was in hospital for an hour shy of two days.

But many people just didn't want to know. One would sit as far away from me as possible whenever they saw me (at this stage I had a basic blank prosthesis, so I kept an eye patch on; there was nothing visible). Others were hesitant about raising the subject.

I found the best thing was openness (talk about it, but we sensitive to those who really couldn't cope), and humour. I would make lots of (bad) jokes: "I have my eye on you", and do other things too (tap the eye with a pen in meetings, making a clicking noise). And there is the new smiley! .-)

It has helped them, I think, and it's helped me too. I actually have better vision than when I had two eyes (no interference) and I point that out. I went back to work four days after leaving hospital (I'm a university teacher), to emphasise how trivial it was (another idea from the hospital).

I had a rare condition, but a student I know had the same operation two weeks later; he had it worse than me, with only a few days' notice of any problem. He's doing well, and we meet and exchange bad jokes. We both now have temporary artificial eyes, and complain about not being able to see 3D films.

Humour is the thing. It works for me, and it works for those I know and meet. Mine is a small problem; I take my hat off to those who have lost hands, limbs and so on.

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I absolutely love your new smiley! -rc

Posted by Joe, Maryland on June 22, 2010:

First I applaud all the people you've mentioned. My story is: When I was 60 God decided I should be right-handed. I was left-handed all my life until then. I had 3 strokes, completely ruining my left hand. And had to get the tendons severed because of the pain. I'm 66 now, and still going. I look around and see people worse off than I.

Posted by Mike from Dallas on June 22, 2010:

One of the things I like about quotations is that a person of high regard can fit an element of inspiration into a brief sentence or two. John, Denver's last line reminded me of one from George Bernard Shaw, considered one of the great literary intellects of the 20th century:

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."