Consider His Subscription Canceled

A Texas judge tossed out a lawsuit by a prison inmate against Penthouse magazine. David Joyner, identified in the $500,000 suit as the Minister of Law of the Mandingo Warriors prison gang, claimed he was “disappointed” and “mentally hurt” by the nude layout of alleged presidential mistress Paula Jones. U.S. District Court Judge Sam Sparks wrote in his decision, released just before Christmas, “Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the prison, inmates were planning their new porno mission. The minute his Penthouse issue arrived, the Minister ripped it open to see what was inside. But what to his wondering eyes should appear — not Paula Jones’ promised privates, but only her rear.” (Reuters) ...And along the bars there arose such a clatter, that guards came a-runnin’ to see what’s the matter. And what, when they arrived, did they now see? Just the usual shenanigans in Cell Block B.