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Since 1994, this is the 1649th issue of Randy Cassingham’s...

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18 January 2026: Monkey BusinessCopyright ©2026 https://thisistrue.com

Other Good Reading: My reading takes me down some interesting rabbit holes, and this is one of them. Following an old (2011) link in my Twitter history (I had written a compelling description, but didn’t remember the situation) led to a dead end. (I hate when sites dump old articles! But that’s a different rant.) I did a little research in the Internet Archive to satisfy my curiosity, and found another 2011 story I hadn’t seen. A newscameraman from WKTV in New York had photographed a house fire, and a family member came up to him and complained that the fire department wasn’t doing enough to save his family. That charge got on the air, and the photographer was very bothered by it: he had been there for nearly the entire fire, and he knew the firefighters were working in horrible conditions well beyond the breaking point, and decided to do a 7-minute follow-up report to describe what was really going on, and that thedistraught family member was understandably, yet totally, wrong.

His station cut the report down to about 90 seconds and aired it on the afternoon news, but posted the full version on their web site — and that web version went viral. One of their own viewers shamed the station, commenting, “If you can air a 5-minute segment on Don getting shaved, you can take the time on air for this piece.” Indeed. “By 6 o’clock we were getting thousands of views on the long version from around the country,” said WKTV News Director Steve McMurray. “Fire departments wereviraling the story. “Our station manager, who used to be a news director, said it is a ‘no brainer’ to run the long piece at 11.” (Heh: “viraling”!)

So, speaking of sites dumping old articles, all of this is now gone ...except! Internet Archive to the rescue! THIS is why I support the IA with my hard-earned money. While it can’t show us the video (it was Flash), the photographer’s comments were also published as an article, which is here: Heartbreak on Schuyler Street, through a photographer’s lens on WKTV in Utica via the InternetArchive. The commentary about the decision is from the nonprofit Poynter Institute for Media Studies ...which was smart enough to NOT dump the story of a news organization doing exactly the right thing, even if they did change the URL (Argh!! ...but at least search revealed it): I have to present the narrative that I feel is accurate and true’: NY photojournalist sets record straight on fatal fire at Poynter. The bottom line: “The media sucks” is a lazynarrative; some journalists work very hard to keep the record straight, being accurate and informative, and giving credit where due.

Update: Premium subscriber Gary in Colorado thought to look on Youtube: maybe the station put the video there? They did not, at least in 2011, but they did in 2012, and it’s worth the watch: Heartbreak On Schuyler Street. The crazy part: after 14 years it has well under 2,900 views, so let’s change that. Wait until you see the size of his camera! Thanks, Gary.

(As always you’re welcome to copy that and forward/post it as desired; credit True if you care to — not required.)


Artificial Marriage: Just a tip: never let A.I. be any part of your marriage ceremony, or this might happen! [Premium Only]

I Just Called to Say: Man insistently calls 911, but won’t let cops in when they arrive (but he leaves in handcuffs, and appropriately so). [Premium Only]

Fill ’er Up: Guy thinks he is acting like a cop ...until real cops arrest him. [Premium Only]

My take: at least the first one is fake.Rumors, Now with Pictures: The St. Louis, Mo., Animal Care and Control Division announced that “illegalmonkeys” were loose in that city — four of them, or possibly another number, but certainly more than one. Then the city’s health department called off the search: it was hard to tell which tips were real, because monkeys were showing up in A.I.-generated images ...probably. The search had been prompted by four pictures, but a journalist showed them to a computer scientist who works on computer vision, and even she couldn’t be sure whether those images were real. “These tools are so good atgenerating images that this could absolutely look real, yet still be fake,” said the professor, Abby Stylianou. “We can’t make decisions about whether things are real or not just by looking at the pictures and the videos anymore.” Officials said one sighting of one monkey was confirmed by a cop. (AC/KSDK St. Louis) ...And it’s not as if we rely on digital video to tell whether cops are telling the truth.

Is That a Bankroll in Your Pocket, or Are You Happy to Be Arrested? Hunter Byrnes of Charlestown, Ind., was at least somewhat honest: he stopped at the Jefferson County District Court in Louisville, Ky., to turn himself in for an outstanding warrant. He was arrested and processed on the spot, emptying his pockets, including “a large wad of cash,” which he put with other items. A sheriff’s deputy started counting the cash for the receipt, but noticed most of it looked fake — nomicro-printing, colored paper fibers, or security strips. Investigators found 15 “mother bills” — real currency — but there were 84 counterfeit $100s, plus 40 counterfeit $20s, for a total of $9,200 bearing the same serial numbers of the real bills. Byrnes, 29, was charged with 124 counts of criminal possession of a forged instrument, enough that the U.S. Secret Service was brought into the case. (RC/Louisville Courier Journal, WLKY Louisville) ...It takes courage to face justice. It takessmarts to leave Exhibit A at home.

Baby Jesus: Yes it was at a church, but their stupid Christmas stunt leaves them apologizing profusely. [Premium Only]

Judging a Book By Its Cover: Guy’s shirt in his mug shot after a probable murder says it all. [Premium Only]

Yay! Still No Ad Here thanks to reader support. I would much rather readers make True possible than have ads. It takes ~5 upgrades (or equivalent contributions) each week to pay this free newsletter’s bills, and there are 6 carried over from last week. Since then we can add ...no new upgrades, but 2 returning, including one after an 8-year lapse. So we only need two upgrades to skip the ad next week (andmore will again carry over). Please don’t take True for granted: too many great newsletters have died from poor support. Upgrade here, and thanks!

Scary Customers: They were right to be scared of these customers. [Premium Only]

Lie Like a Dog: The Charlotte County (Fla.) Sheriff’s Office responded to an 11:00 p.m. report of a burglary in progress at a Walmart store in Englewood. The call wasn’t made from the store, but from a man watching a video streaming from inside the closed store on TikTok documenting a 24-hour “Challenge” attempt. The report apparently even said where the man was, inside the store: the dog bed section. Isaac Matthew Hurley, 19, was arrested, charged with burglary of an occupiedstructure, since there were apparently employees working inside, as well as evidence of Hurley’s poor planning: he allegedly stole a charger to keep his iPhone running, even though he had been inside for less than an hour. Sheriff Bill Prummell grumped, “Why aren’t any of these challenges aimed at making the world better?” (RC/WFLA Tampa) ...Because altruism doesn’t have a leaderboard.

You Up? There’s a new Chinese smartphone app that’s taking off. It costs 8 yuan (US$1.10) and has a green circle that the user taps. Pressing the button sends a notification to a friend or loved one to indicate the user is still alive. It’s called, “Are You Dead?” While it sounds like an app for elderly relatives, it resonated with younger users and is now the most downloaded app on Apple’s App Store in China. It has also become popular in the Netherlands, Britain, India, and theUnited States. “Every country has young people who move to big cities to chase their dreams,” said Ian Lü, 29, one of the app’s developers. Because of the taboo about discussing death in China, the developers have pivoted to a new name: Demumu. It’s not as popular with that moniker, so the team is offering a reward to whoever can submit the best new name. The prize: 666 yuan. (MS/AP) ...Modern society: where existence is reduced to a ping.

Where’s the Beef? Florida Man pulls what even a police chief called an “unsettling” robbery. [Premium Only]

Gross Misconduct: It was less misconduct, more gross. [Premium Only]

Needed Makeup: Another Florida Man calls himself to the attention to police, who find a serious crime being committed. [Premium Only]


Now That the Post Office Is on Life Support
Letter Writing Enjoys a Revival as Fans Seek Connection and a Break from Screen Time
AP headline


Did You Find an Error? Check the Errata Page for updates.

This Week’s Contributors: MS-Mike Straw, AC-Alexander Cohen, RC-Randy Cassingham.


Stories This Week were Written/Edited in Mo’orea, French Polynesia. Yes, again: we were here just after Christmas when heading east to visit several places, and now it’s our last stop in this country as we head back west for more in Australia, New Zealand, and other islands around those countries.

Goodbye, Chaz: After almost 16 months at sea, we’ve had our first onboard death. There was a dance party a few nights back. Many attended, including Kit. She noticed Chaz and Alex arrive — best friends who each bought a cabin to be here for the long term, just like us. We’ve known them for nearly 2 years: we sailed together on an NCL ship from New York to England.

After Kit was in bed but not asleep, there was a “Code Alpha” page to the venue, which is on the same deck as my office, a 2-minute walk away. I was still there working. “Alpha” is a medical emergency. My instincts are always to go, but I know ship personnel don’t even want still-licensed doctors to move in on their turf, so I stayed away.

Chaz, left, with Alex.Offices are along a major hallway, and I heard one person walking by mention Chaz. I told Kit, and we hoped it was a ‘fell down on dance floor’ sort ofthing. I wrapped up things in the office and headed to the “living room” — a lounge. There were clusters of people, so I joined one of the groups and quickly learned Chaz had collapsed, the lady in front of me had given “rescue breaths” while another “started compressions” before the medical team arrived. Despite that quick action, he didn’t make it. Chaz looked like he’s in his 50s, not the reality of mid-70s.

He’s not the first resident to die. The first was a man who flew home with some medical issue and died several months later. The second was a woman who had only come onboard a few weeks before, who (people who know her said) stopped taking her blood pressure meds and then had a bad stroke, was taken to a hospital ashore where she had additional bad strokes, and died a week or so later.

But Chaz was the first to die aboard ship. And while we may have seen the other two aboard, they weren’t anyone Kit or I knew. We didn’t just know Chaz; he was beloved by pretty much everyone. While most speak highly of the dead no matter what, in Chaz’s case, he really was a great guy, and everyone who knew him will miss him.

No, he won’t be an Honorary Unsubscribe: despite spending time with him on several occasions, I simply didn’t know him well enough to tell the story of his impact on the world.

(Photo: Chaz, left, and Alex climbed to the top of the hill overlooking the ship (visible anchored in the bay) last week. Chaz posted this selfie to his Facebook page.)

Chuck, One of True’s volunteer editors, commented, “I wonder how many people still know the origin of the line: Is that a (whatever) in your pocket...”. Considering the average age of a True reader, I replied, a good portion (even if they can’t get it exactly as ad libbed by Mae West, in a play [not a film], to co-star Gene Barry, in 1944).

The Yale Book of Quotations notes that the line is “Often ascribed to West’s film She Done Him Wrong, but the line does not appear in that or any of her other pre-1967 movies.” West herself said she came up with the quip in the 1930s while speaking to a policeman.

So there you go. You all got it right, right? Though no, I don’t actually know the average age of a True reader, but since so many of you have been readers for 20 years (or more!), it’s certainly obvious you skew older and wiser, rather than having stayed the same age for the past 32 years ...like me! 🙂


Ten Years Ago in True: Glazed and Confused.

This Week’s Story of the Week (you’re welcome to share it), about the Florida Man turned Walmart TikTokker, is posted on Telegram, Mastodon, BlueSky, Instagram, Threads, and/or Facebook, or grab from any of those to post elsewhere.

This Week’s Sunday Reading: My first major rant about Zero Tolerance ...in 1999! Things got worse after that. Losing my Tolerance for “Zero Tolerance”.

The Most Recent Honorary Unsubscribe (still catching up!) goes to Sidney Kibrick He was the last of his kind, and the story is a quick 3-minute read.


Basic Subscriptions to This is True are Free at https://thisistrue.com. All stories are completely rewritten using facts from the noted sources. This is True® (and Get Out of Hell Free® and Stella Awards®) are registered trademarks of ThisisTrue.Inc. Published weekly by ThisisTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA (ISSN 1521-1932).

Copyright ©2026 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All broadcast, publication, retransmission to email lists, web site or social media posting, or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission from the author. Manual forwarding by email to friends is allowed if 1) the text is forwarded in its entirety from the “Since 1994” line on top through the end of this paragraph and 2) No fee is charged. I request that you forward no more than three copies to any one person — after that, they should get their own free subscription. I appreciate people who report violations of my copyright.


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