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SINCE 1994 and reaching at least 42,640 subscribers, this is the 920th weekly issue of Randy Cassingham's... THIS is TRUE: 29 January Copyright 2012 http://www.thisistrue.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------- IT TAKES 10-12 HOURS FOR HIM TO GET CLEAR: Patrol officers in Ocala, Fla., were told to watch for a drunk driver -- the man had just driven away from the Charlie Horse Restaurant and Lounge. Officers quickly spotted the weaving vehicle and pulled it over. Driver Bradley Garrison, 40, police say, had a strong odor of alcohol about him, but insisted he had only had two drinks; he was arrested for driving under the influence. An officer stopped by the Charlie Horse and discovered that Garrison had left without paying his bar tab -- for 20 shots of Jack Daniels, two shots of Jagermeister, and one of Makers Mark, totaling $139.09. Garrison was not able to complete a breath test for alcohol because he could not stop vomiting. "It was not clear," the newspaper report concluded, "if Garrison had consumed all of the drinks." (RC/Ocala Star-Banner) ...Well, it's not clear to the newspaper reporter, anyway. HOPE TO SEE YOU ON SUNDAY: There is a new tattoo parlor in Flint Township, Mich. That's not normally news, of course, but Serenity Tattoo, a fully licensed parlor, has opened inside a church, right near the Rev. Steve Bentley's office. Bentley says it's all part of bringing new people to the church -- he calls it "The Bridge" -- which caters to people who have given up on traditional churches. "The tattoo is a really prominent art form in our culture today," the minister explains. He has two tats, including one he got at church. He says tattoos are "morally neutral" and no different from, say, ear piercings. "You can get a tattoo in a clean environment," he promises. Other non- traditional activities in the church include cage fighting, wrestling, and auto repair. "We don't want a million-dollar building that's only used a few times a week," Bentley says. "That's such a waste of what God has given us." (RC/Flint Journal) ...OK, but auto repair is the devil's playground. ----------==========**********O**********==========---------- IF YOU'RE ONLINE (and you are!) You NEED to know this information (don't worry, it all free): The basics of how spammers are trying to fool you into giving them Control of your computer -- including access to your bank accounts. Take 15 minutes to read it: it could save your solvency. http://www.SpamPrimer.com ----------==========**********O**********==========---------- DOESN'T PASS THE SMELL TEST: A Federal District Court judge in New York has ruled that the Clorox Pet Products Co. must stop running an ad claiming that their "Fresh Step" cat litter product is superior to Arm & Hammer cat litters. Judge Jed S. Rakoff said he found it "highly implausible" that 11 panelists could "stick their noses in jars of excrement and report 44 independent times that they smelled nothing unpleasant." Therefore, he found the TV commercial's claims "literally false" and allowed a lawsuit by Church & Dwight, the company that owns Arm & Hammer, to proceed. (RC/New York Times, AP) ...But your honor! Congressional ethics committees do the same thing all the time! PITY THE FOOL: Anquin St. Junious, 32, can scarcely walk and can only feed himself with a special lightweight spoon, said his attorney. The La Crosse, Wisc., man is accused of stabbing a bartender before he was badly beaten himself. But although St. Junious sat "motionless" in a wheelchair in court, Judge Scott Horne concluded the defendant was less disabled than dishonest: surveillance video shows that while awaiting his court hearing, St. Junious was doing pushups in jail. So instead of releasing him over his supposedly poor medical condition as his attorney had requested, the judge doubled his bond. St. Junious "left the courtroom humiliated," a reporter noted. (AC/La Crosse Tribune) ...Advice to his lawyer: Check for video cameras at the crime scene before arguing his innocence at trial. NO, REALLY, LEAVE THE DRIVING TO US: "Police: Tampa Man Steals Ambulance, Tries To Drive Self To Hospital For Treatment" -- WTOG-TV (Tampa, Fla.) headline THIS WEEK'S CONTRIBUTORS: MS-Mike Straw, AC-Alexander Cohen, RC-Randy Cassingham DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html MY HIGHEST RECOMMENDATION: Now and then I mention interesting books I'm reading, or TV shows I'm watching. I've found two related TV specials that are so good, I ended up saving them and showing them to my wife, who is also finding them fascinating. They are the five-part "Wonders of the Solar System" from 2010, and the 2011 follow-on, "Wonders of the Universe" (four episodes). Both are presented by British physicist Brian Cox, who is 43 years old, and comes off as a cross between a very young man filled with wonder and excitement over the beauty of the universe, and a wise old man. He explains things really well; his explanation of the Big Bang is one of the most concise I've ever heard, yet completely understandable. Same with planets' "retrograde" motion. Exquisite. That latter clip, from "Solar System", is on the web copy of this, in my blog -- to skip to there immediately: http://ThisIsTrue.com/d-wonders In "Universe" he clearly explains why the universe HAS to end eventually -- entropy -- and why time only goes one direction. He does that surrounded by a town that was abandoned more than 50 years ago; a town that's slowly falling into dust. That clip is on the web copy of this too. My wife calls his discussions "poetic". Here's a sample, from the introduction to "Universe": "Why are we here? Where do we come from? These are the most enduring of questions. And it's an essential part of human nature to want to find the answers. We can trace our ancestry back hundreds of thousands of years to the dawn of humankind. But in reality, our story extends far, further back in time. Our story starts with the beginning of the universe. It began 13.7 billion years ago, and today, it's filled with over a hundred billion galaxies, each containing hundreds of billions of stars. In this series, I want to tell that story, because ultimately, we are part of the universe, so its story is our story." And the entire series proves how that is true. Naturally, there have been comparisons to Carl Sagan's 13-part 1980 series "Cosmos". Cox acknowledges it explicitly, holding up a copy of Sagan's book in one episode as he explains that he was influenced strongly by Sagan as a youngster (as was I). Cosmos was, at the time of broadcast, the most-watched series on PBS ever. It won Emmy and Peabody awards and has been broadcast in more than 60 countries to more than 500 million people. The shows are co-productions of BBC and the Discovery Network. "Check your local listings" (easy if you have satellite TV service, or digital cable) to see if they're running for you. If not, both series are available on Netflix, and likely similar services. Make sure you grab them all. Since science marches ever on (Cox says this is the most important era of discovery in human existence), things need to be updated. Sagan himself did updates on Cosmos in 1989 (he died in 1996, at 62), so it's great to have a more up-to-date science series available. Speaking of Cosmos: it's being remade with more up-to-date information and visualizations. The host will be American astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, and it's coming on the Fox networks in 2013. I'm really looking forward to it. Meanwhile, Cox himself is currently filming another follow-on series, "Wonders of Life", which he describes as "a physicist's take on life and natural history." Until then, the two "Wonders" shows get my very highest recommendation. They will surely excite your own sense of wonder. Web copy of this, with videos: http://ThisIsTrue.com/d-wonders o o o YOU MISSED SEVEN MORE stories on Monday: Home furnishings chain recalls popular item -- because it's radioactive. "Occupy" protestors star in yet another ironic case of hypocrisy. Police come looking for man; his young son tells officers where he's hiding. Woman shot -- but won't submit to medical treatment until she finishes her beer. The dumb bank robber was bad enough, but wait'll you hear what was written on his demand note! Cop pulls over man in car pool lane -- his passenger is a plastic skeleton, and.... School says their weapons policy is NOT "zero tolerance", and the proof is enough to make you pound your head on your desk. Don't you just HATE missing most of the stories? An upgrade to a full year of expanded issues is just $24, and truly helps make this publication possible: http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html THERE ARE NOW over 100 comments on my "Paterno" blog entry. As I thought would happen, when it was posted to the free edition Friday the pace of unsubscribes increased. I won't bore you with the various screamings, but there were also a few messages like this, from Jodi in Massachusetts: "So it's only taken me countless months and even more laughs to finally get around to upgrading. What was I waiting for? After reading other readers' 'profound' comments they sent you when they upgraded, I was waiting to be inspired with something equally interesting to write. Well it finally happened! This is what did it: In your recent issue where you updated us regarding your Facebook posting about Joe Paterno and how some people actually unsubscribed because they disagreed with you. How ridiculous! Absurd would be an even better word, and that would still be too mild for those idiots! So I am officially filling at least one void made by one fool leaving. YOU ROCK! DON'T STOP!" http://www.thisistrue.com/d-paterno is the link to that blog entry, if you're one of the half-dozen who missed it last week.... ON THE OTHER HAND, even after a bunch of protest unsubscribes last week (in addition to the usual bad-address attrition), this issue is going to 196 *more* subscribers. If I can trade the people who get all huffy first and think second (if at all) for people who appreciate being provoked to think now and then, I'll be VERY satisfied! I do, after all, bill TRUE as "Thought-provoking entertainment".... o o o THE LATEST POSTING TO JUMBO JOKE: "An Emergency Situation". http://www.JumboJoke.com ----------==========**********O**********==========---------- LOSING SLEEP TRYING TO DECIDE ON A NEW BED? Looking for a more natural sleeping surface? Memory foam or latex mattresses/toppers may be your solution: NOT affiliated with any store or manufacturer. Just personal experience and research so you can get a non-biased perspective on your options. http://www.TheMattressLady.com ----------==========**********O**********==========---------- TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: What caused Pakastan's top military spokesman to declare, "That is an absurd report. How can we have secret urologists?" http://www.thisistrue.com/12838 And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on your Android, BlackBerry, iPhone, or other web-enabled phone! THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to John Rich. Rich was THE go-to director for new TV comedies -- including classics you love. For the full story see http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/john_rich.html YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks. TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com SUBSCRIPTIONS to "This is True" are free at http://www.thisistrue.com Published weekly by ThisIsTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA (ISSN 1521-1932). TRUE is available to newspapers as a regular feature column. "This is True" is a registered trademark of ThisIsTrue.Inc COPYRIGHT 2012 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are completely rewritten using facts from the noted sources. ALL broadcast, publication, retransmission to e-mail lists, WWW or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is STRICTLY PROHIBITED without PRIOR written permission from the author. MANUAL FORWARDING by e-mail to friends is allowed IF 1) the text is forwarded IN ITS ENTIRETY, from the "Since 1994" line on top through the end of this paragraph and 2) NO FEE is charged. 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