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SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 110,000 readers in over 200 countries, this is the 725th weekly issue of... THIS is TRUE: 4 May 2008 Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com ------------------------------------------------------------------------- LEARN 'EM GOOD: Michelle Droelle, 33, a teacher at Kellam High School in Virginia Beach, Va., claims she got out of the escort business before she became a teacher. But, a local newspaper found, at least one escort agency uses her home address as its headquarters, and lists her as the owner. The umbrella company operates at least 20 different services, the paper says, including Exotic Playmates, Sinful Seductions, and Party Girls, which advertise "1-on-1 encounters ... fetishes [and] light domination." (Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot) ...Two out of three of which are helpful skills when teaching high school. HE NEARLY BLEW HIS BRAINS OUT: A 20-year-old man in Yakima, Wash., told police he was the victim of a "drive-by shooting." But officers doubted the story: the injuries to the man's groin appeared to be the result of a point-blank shot. After a brief investigation the truth came out: the man, apparently a gang member, had jammed a sawed-off double-barreled shotgun into his waistband, and managed to discharge both barrels into his pants. Officers described the result as "massive groin damage," but the man was hospitalized in "satisfactory" condition. (Yakima Herald-Republic) ...Of course, most men would describe a pellet gun wound there as "massive groin damage." ----------=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D**********O**********=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D---------- Ever wonder why our country is in such a mess? Political Satire With A Hard-News Edge http://Foolocracy.com See the "Fool of the Day" Stories on the fools who run our government Humorous and Insightful=ADUpdated 5 times a week ----------=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D**********O**********=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D---------- IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL: Llewellyn Werner, a developer based in Los Angeles, Calif., has big plans for a $500 million amusement park -- in Baghdad, Iraq. The 50-acre Baghdad Zoo and Entertainment Experience will completely surround the existing Baghdad Zoo, where only 35 of its 700 animals survived the invasion and war. The complex is outside the American-protected "Green Zone", but Werner isn't worried about attacks by insurgents. "They'll see it as an opportunity for their children regardless if they're Shia or Sunni," he says. "They'll say their kids deserve a place to play and they'll leave it alone." The first phase of the development, a skateboard park, is already under construction. (London Times) ...There's one skateboard park where there will be no problem convincing riders to wear a helmet. FAIR ENOUGH: Mike Krusee, 49, of Austin, Texas, was arrested and charged with driving while intoxicated. If convicted, Krusee faces 180 days in jail and a $4,000 fine -- including at least $1,000 in surcharges that are part of the state's "driver responsibility program" that calls for extra fines for first-time drunk drivers. The law was written by Krusee; he is the chairman of the Texas House Transportation Committee and a member of the Texas House Judiciary Committee. (Austin American- Statesman) ...The most amazing part of this story: he didn't include an exemption for elected officials. HOT HOT HOT: "Taser Shock Triggers Fire in Man's Pants" -- Hamilton (Ont., Canada) Spectator headline DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html WHILE GOING THROUGH back issues looking for good stuff in this section to copy over to my blog (so there's a web archive of that good stuff), I came across the announcement of a new "Get Out of Hell Free" product -- my favorite GOOHF item after the original million-selling paper cards. "Some time ago we offered *plastic* GOOHF cards," I wrote in the 15 May 2005 issue. "Their quality was quite good, but they were QUITE expensive -- $6.95 *each* -- PLUS shipping. They were that high because you could get custom printing on the back, but so many liked the 'standard' back I wrote for it that the majority got it with that. "There were no complaints about the price, but I imagine many didn't order once they saw how much they were. So when the contract ran out with the company that was making them I didn't renew it. Thus the new product, of course, is a new plastic GOOHF card. "They arrived Monday and they're GORGEOUS. Exactly the same size as a credit card (but a touch thinner), they're printed on both sides. You'll have to look at the order page to see what the back says. So what is 'quality' in a plastic card? *Excellent* printing. A high gloss finish that protects that printing from being scratched off in your wallet. (I literally put my knife's point on one and had to scratch it firmly 10-15 times in the same spot before I finally got to the ink.) And they are a *LOT* less than $6.95 plus shipping!" So as I read that, I realized that it's been quite awhile since I had a sale on those cards. They're the second-most popular GOOHF product after the original paper cards. So here's the deal: you can already get as much as 85 percent off if you buy at least 100 cards, and smaller discounts on smaller quantities, but now you'll get an extra plastic card for FREE for every two you buy, with free shipping! I think it's the best deal we've EVER offered on these cards, which are the same ones we use for our popular GOOHF luggage tags today. Special offer ENDS May 31, so don't delay: https://secure.thisistrue.com/plastic NEVER ENOUGH STORIES? True's "other" edition has plenty more stories in place of ads. This week, Premium subscribers also read about the teens caught trying to steal a live alligator -- from a miniature golf course. Men jump from building with parachutes, and would have gotten away with it except that one of them landed in a spectacularly wrong spot. Man tries to cash a check in a bank ...for $360 billion. Woman manages to keep burglar at bay with an ice scraper. Woman manages to keep burglar at bay by stabbing his hands with a screwdriver -- he kept at it until he went unconscious from blood loss. Seven-year-old child removed from his home because his dad bought him some lemonade: a ZT horror story. A huge issue you can still read: ask for your upgrade to start with the 4 May issue. http://www.thisistrue.com/upgrade.html o o o A LOT OF PEOPLE READ my blog -- http://www.thisistrue.com/blog.html -- but a lot of people skip the comments. There's often some good meat in there: I usually delete the comments that are not worth the time to read. To help you find some of the more meaty comments, I'll choose one each week as the "Reader Comment of the Week", starting with.... READER COMMENT OF THE WEEK: "I feel the [Transportation Security Agency] is one of the most inept and hated agencies ever created by Congress. My worst experience was when an elderly crippled woman snuck up on the TSA inspector with her two aluminum crutches and her wheelchair plus an attendant. He STOPPED inspecting the entire line while calling for backup. When protests were made by those of us in line about not being able to go around her, he replied that he would see we did not make our flights. I told him that if I missed my flight he would be spending time in nearby Dublin Federal Prison for false detention and abuse of authority. I also held up my Department of Homeland Security badge. We got to go around her." --Bill in California, in response to http://www.thisistrue.com/blog-reader_reaction_to_airport_zt.html (And remember: he said "one of", not "the". TSA is still working to beat the IRS out of the Number One spot. -rc) AND AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Only a Southerner Knows.... http://www.JumboJoke.com ----------=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D**********O**********=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D---------- Do YOU Need to Prepare for a Bird Flu Pandemic? Learn about topics from first aid to citizen responsibility: The Emergency Lady, an *independent* info site in plain language about various medical situations and emergencies, will help you improve your safety and prepare for emergencies. CORRECTED URL: http://www.TheEmergencyLady.com ----------=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D**********O**********=3D=3D= =3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D=3D---------- IN THE QUEUE ON GROXX: "Teens dig up body - use skull as bong". No, really: it happened in Humble, Texas. Submit weird stories and vote on what submissions are best -- register for free at http://Groxx.com TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: Two men play "chicken" -- with an approaching train. http://www.thisistrue.com/chicken_5934.html BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: http://www.rough-equivalents.com -- Rough Equivalents. A 2007 Ferarri 599 GTB Fiorano F1 costs a ton of money right? Well, if you were using pennies to pay for it, you'd need to truck 92.75 tons of them down to the dealer. This is the kind of fun that Rough Equivalents has with sayings like "a ton of money". It pokes fun at topical ideas like "How Much Toilet Paper Is Iraq Costing?" and makes you think about one of your favorite tongue twisters, "If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?" Rough Equivalents has the answer to this and a lot more silly (or are they?) questions. (ME) -- Bonzer Sites archive: http://www.BonzerSites.com THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Colin Murdoch. As a boy, Murdoch struggled with dyslexia, making school difficult. But his aptitude for chemistry and engineering kept him at it, and by age 10 he had made his own gunpowder and a gun; he used it to hunt rabbits in his native New Zealand. He kept up his studies and first became a pharmacist and later a veterinarian, and saw that reusable glass syringes were spreading disease, so he invented the disposable syringe. He also invented the tranquilizer gun, the childproof pill bottle, the silent burglar alarm, and more -- he was awarded 46 patents in all. He received the New Zealand Order of Merit, but not much money: he was satisfied that his inventions improved the lives of millions, and decided not to sue the companies who violated his patents. Murdoch was diagnosed with cancer of the sinuses in 1991; it spread to the roof of his mouth, part of his jaw, and one eye; they were all removed. He died in Timaru, New Zealand, on May 4. He was 79. -- Honorary Unsubscribe archive: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks. TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com SUBSCRIPTIONS to "This is True" are free at http://www.thisistrue.com Published weekly by ThisIsTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA (ISSN 1521-1932). TRUE is available to newspapers as a regular feature column. "This is True" is a registered trademark of ThisIsTrue.Inc COPYRIGHT 2008 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are completely rewritten by Randy Cassingham using facts from the noted sources. ALL broadcast, publication, retransmission to e-mail lists, WWW or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is STRICTLY PROHIBITED without PRIOR written permission from the author. MANUAL FORWARDING by e-mail to friends is allowed IF 1) the text is forwarded IN ITS ENTIRETY, from the "Since 1994" line on top through the end of this paragraph and 2) NO FEE is charged. We REQUEST that you forward no more than three copies to any one person -- after that, they should get their own FREE subscription. We ALWAYS appreciate people who report violations of our copyright to us. TO COMMENT to the author, see http://www.thisistrue.com/contact.html -- Please include
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