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Since 1994, this is the 1029th issue of RandyCassingham’s...
Government Efficiency: “I’ve been told my application is on my evaluator’s desk with hundreds of others,” said Ben Villarreal. “There’s no way to know when they’ll get to it.” Villarreal has a nursing degree and two job offers; he and about 4,000 other people are waiting to move through California’s nursing licensing process. But California just acquired a $52 million computer system called BreEZe to improve efficiency.Here’s how efficient it is: applicants have to submit paper applications, and officials have to read off their data and type it into BreEZe. The state nursing board says it could take 90 days — it used to say 6 to 8 weeks — for applicants to be cleared to move on to the next step: the licensing exam. (AC/Los Angeles Times) ...What exam did the guy who decided to switch to BreEZe have to take?
Flophouse: Ruben James Turner III, 30, was arrested for first-degree criminal mischief, second-degree trespassing, and unlawful entry into a motor vehicle after he allegedly climbed into the back of a marked police squad car in Portland, Ore., and fell asleep. When he awoke, he found he was locked in and, police say, tore out the seats trying to escape. Turner spent the night in the car, and was finally found by an officer who noticed something strange about the vehicle parked in aprecinct lot — a word written in the fogged up back window of the car: “!pleH” (RC/KATU Portland) ...!toivilbO.
Unsocial Media: Like many government agencies, Industry Canada reaches out to citizens via Twitter. But their 140-character bursts of information have to first go through a 12-step approval process, passing each message through dozens of editors, staffers, and bureaucrats, plus approval by Industry Minister James Moore’s office or, alternatively, from the office of junior minister Greg Rickford. The process takes weeks, including days of coordination with other agencies to setup “retweets” of the posts, coordination for any hashtags used, confirmation of policy compliance, and more. (RC/Canadian Press) ...And you can expect an absolute zinger of a tagline about this story in 4-6 weeks.
Need a Moment? Robert McKevitt, 27, just wanted a candy bar from the vending machine. He put in a dollar, pushed the button for a 90-cent Twix bar, and watched as the bar got stuck on the spiral hook. “I was, like, ‘Oh, man’,” said McKevitt. “So I put in another dollar, and then it wouldn’t do anything.” He banged and rocked the machine and when that didn’t knock it loose, he reportedly took things to the next level. Since he was workingin Polaris Industries’ warehouse in Milford, Iowa, there was a forklift available. McKevitt allegedly used the forklift to lift the machine and drop it to the ground several times, knocking three candy bars into the bottom, where McKevitt retrieved them. He was fired five days later. McKevitt denies the allegations and says he just used the forklift to put the machine back in place after he shook it. “That machine was trouble,” he said. “They fired me, and now I hearthey have all new vending machines there.” (MS/Des Moines Register) ...Well yeah: somehow the old ones were all smashed up by a forklift.
Who Could Have Predicted This?
Security Cameras Catch Man Trying to Steal Security Cameras
Joliet (Ill.) Herald-News headline
Did You Find an Error? Check the Errata Page for updates.
This Week’s Contributors: AC-Alexander Cohen, MS-Mike Straw, RC-Randy Cassingham.
Last Chance: It’s the last week for the absolutely crazy $2 Printed Book Super Special, and yes, we have now changed the supplied book (to Volume 6: This is True: Platform Shoes Claim Another Life). It’s OK to order again if you got some before — the whole idea for my getting them out there at a loss is to spread them around, so the more the merrier. Or, to invoke an ancient Internet meme, “We lose money onevery purchase, but we’re making it up in volume!” Full Details Here.
Kurt in Arkansas writes: “I have enjoyed your free stories from very close to the beginning of your publication. Certainly over a decade. I don’t know why it took me so long to finally subscribe for a premium subscription — but I have finally done it, and to honor your work I pre-paid for 2 years. :) Shameful that it took me this long to finally sign up. Perhaps you could have a link in your free version to how to pay with your Paypal account (based on thesubscribers email). It was easier than I thought it would be.”
Indeed it is very easy, and Paypal is just one of the options shown on the upgrade page, which also has Amazon buttons, a link to my own shopping card so you can use credit/debit cards, and an address to send checks/money orders. But sure: for a quick one-year upgrade with Paypal, just click here, confirm you are on Paypal’ssite, log in, approve, and ...you’re all done! Or see that upgrade page for additional options.
An Unsubscribe Request last weekend had a slightly startling comment included: “My Mother thinks I’m too young for some of the stories. —Billy” Billy, who is from Michigan, didn’t say how old he is, but I see he subscribed nearly four years ago. I think mom needs to cut him some slack! I invited him back when he hits 18. Whenever that might be....
There Seems to Be a New Trend in thanking me for ...Premium subscription renewal notices. Don’t get me wrong, it’s terrific that you find those notices helpful! But I learned why the thanks are flowing from Lucy in Texas, who replied to her renewal notice with this: “Thank you, Randy. Since 2009, I have lost a partner to suicide, moved six times and been laid off twice. Through it all, This is True has kept me enlightened, entertained and, occasionally,enraged (but I think that is good for me because that means a story hit a button and it's time to re-examine my opinions to see if they still hold true.) I am so grateful that I got this reminder so I won't miss a single edition.”
Certainly, I know that True is important to a lot of readers, but Lucy reminded me just how important it can be. Thanks! And I love Love LOVE her reaction to being “enraged” by a story, or something I said. It’s why I chose “Thought-Provoking Entertainment” as the publication’s tagline. So many don’t want their thinking provoked, let alone challenged. Happily, you do. Thanks.
Lucy Got More Stories than the four in this sampler. She also read about “McGruff the Crime Dog” headed to prison for 16 years because.... New head of voter-registration office previously pleaded guilty to ...election fraud. SWAT team surrounds apartment for six hours before learning that.... Man irate because he thinks that every item on her Facebook feed is a private message directly to her, so.... Man wakes up after coronerdeclares him dead. High schooler suspended when he reports to his teacher that he accidentally has a beer in his lunch, rather than a soda. Thousands of drug cases at risk of being thrown out, since crime lab chemist was taking the drugs, rather than testing them. Man steals military Humvee and takes off into the streets of Florida. Garbageman takes tip from homeowner after loading massive pile into truck, triggering the city’s zero tolerance policy against.... Dog rescue volunteerrescues a puppy ...by doing what?! Stop missing most of the stories! A full year of expanded issues is just $30. Full Details Here.
The Latest Posting to Jumbo Joke:
Ten Years Ago in True: How to tell when a job offer is absolutely too good to be true: Help Wanted.
This Week’s Honorary Unsubscribe goes to Lee Lorch. Lorch was a mathematician — who put his job on the line again and again and again to stand up for what was right.
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