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SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 110,000 readers in over 200 countries,
   this is the 725th weekly issue of...

THIS is TRUE: 4 May 2008              Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
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LEARN 'EM GOOD: Michelle Droelle, 33, a teacher at Kellam High School in
   Virginia Beach, Va., claims she got out of the escort business before
   she became a teacher. But, a local newspaper found, at least one escort
   agency uses her home address as its headquarters, and lists her as the
   owner. The umbrella company operates at least 20 different services,
   the paper says, including Exotic Playmates, Sinful Seductions, and
   Party Girls, which advertise "1-on-1 encounters ... fetishes [and]
   light domination." (Hampton Roads Virginian-Pilot) ...Two out of three
   of which are helpful skills when teaching high school.

HE NEARLY BLEW HIS BRAINS OUT: A 20-year-old man in Yakima, Wash., told
   police he was the victim of a "drive-by shooting." But officers doubted
   the story: the injuries to the man's groin appeared to be the result of
   a point-blank shot. After a brief investigation the truth came out: the
   man, apparently a gang member, had jammed a sawed-off double-barreled
   shotgun into his waistband, and managed to discharge both barrels into
   his pants. Officers described the result as "massive groin damage," but
   the man was hospitalized in "satisfactory" condition. (Yakima
   Herald-Republic) ...Of course, most men would describe a pellet gun
   wound there as "massive groin damage."

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IT'S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL: Llewellyn Werner, a developer based in Los
   Angeles, Calif., has big plans for a $500 million amusement park -- in
   Baghdad, Iraq. The 50-acre Baghdad Zoo and Entertainment Experience
   will completely surround the existing Baghdad Zoo, where only 35 of its
   700 animals survived the invasion and war. The complex is outside the
   American-protected "Green Zone", but Werner isn't worried about attacks
   by insurgents. "They'll see it as an opportunity for their children
   regardless if they're Shia or Sunni," he says. "They'll say their kids
   deserve a place to play and they'll leave it alone." The first phase of
   the development, a skateboard park, is already under construction.
   (London Times) ...There's one skateboard park where there will be no
   problem convincing riders to wear a helmet.

FAIR ENOUGH: Mike Krusee, 49, of Austin, Texas, was arrested and charged
   with driving while intoxicated. If convicted, Krusee faces 180 days in
   jail and a $4,000 fine -- including at least $1,000 in surcharges that
   are part of the state's "driver responsibility program" that calls for
   extra fines for first-time drunk drivers. The law was written by
   Krusee; he is the chairman of the Texas House Transportation Committee
   and a member of the Texas House Judiciary Committee. (Austin American-
   Statesman) ...The most amazing part of this story: he didn't include an
   exemption for elected officials.

HOT HOT HOT: "Taser Shock Triggers Fire in Man's Pants" -- Hamilton
   (Ont., Canada) Spectator headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

WHILE GOING THROUGH back issues looking for good stuff in this section to
   copy over to my blog (so there's a web archive of that good stuff), I
   came across the announcement of a new "Get Out of Hell Free" product --
   my favorite GOOHF item after the original million-selling paper cards.

   "Some time ago we offered *plastic* GOOHF cards," I wrote in the 15 May
   2005 issue. "Their quality was quite good, but they were QUITE
   expensive -- $6.95 *each* -- PLUS shipping. They were that high because
   you could get custom printing on the back, but so many liked the
   'standard' back I wrote for it that the majority got it with that.

   "There were no complaints about the price, but I imagine many didn't
   order once they saw how much they were. So when the contract ran out
   with the company that was making them I didn't renew it. Thus the new
   product, of course, is a new plastic GOOHF card.

   "They arrived Monday and they're GORGEOUS. Exactly the same size as a
   credit card (but a touch thinner), they're printed on both sides.
   You'll have to look at the order page to see what the back says. So
   what is 'quality' in a plastic card? *Excellent* printing. A high gloss
   finish that protects that printing from being scratched off in your
   wallet. (I literally put my knife's point on one and had to scratch it
   firmly 10-15 times in the same spot before I finally got to the ink.)
   And they are a *LOT* less than $6.95 plus shipping!"

   So as I read that, I realized that it's been quite awhile since I had a
   sale on those cards. They're the second-most popular GOOHF product
   after the original paper cards. So here's the deal: you can already get
   as much as 85 percent off if you buy at least 100 cards, and smaller
   discounts on smaller quantities, but now you'll get an extra plastic
   card for FREE for every two you buy, with free shipping! I think it's
   the best deal we've EVER offered on these cards, which are the same
   ones we use for our popular GOOHF luggage tags today. Special offer
   ENDS May 31, so don't delay: https://secure.thisistrue.com/plastic

NEVER ENOUGH STORIES? True's "other" edition has plenty more stories in
   place of ads. This week, Premium subscribers also read about the teens
   caught trying to steal a live alligator -- from a miniature golf
   course. Men jump from building with parachutes, and would have gotten
   away with it except that one of them landed in a spectacularly wrong
   spot. Man tries to cash a check in a bank ...for $360 billion. Woman
   manages to keep burglar at bay with an ice scraper. Woman manages to
   keep burglar at bay by stabbing his hands with a screwdriver -- he kept
   at it until he went unconscious from blood loss. Seven-year-old child
   removed from his home because his dad bought him some lemonade: a ZT
   horror story. A huge issue you can still read: ask for your upgrade to
   start with the 4 May issue. http://www.thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

                                   o o o

A LOT OF PEOPLE READ my blog -- http://www.thisistrue.com/blog.html --
   but a lot of people skip the comments. There's often some good meat in
   there: I usually delete the comments that are not worth the time to
   read. To help you find some of the more meaty comments, I'll choose one
   each week as the "Reader Comment of the Week", starting with....

READER COMMENT OF THE WEEK: "I feel the [Transportation Security Agency]
   is one of the most inept and hated agencies ever created by Congress.
   My worst experience was when an elderly crippled woman snuck up on the
   TSA inspector with her two aluminum crutches and her wheelchair plus an
   attendant. He STOPPED inspecting the entire line while calling for
   backup. When protests were made by those of us in line about not being
   able to go around her, he replied that he would see we did not make our
   flights. I told him that if I missed my flight he would be spending
   time in nearby Dublin Federal Prison for false detention and abuse of
   authority. I also held up my Department of Homeland Security badge. We
   got to go around her." --Bill in California, in response to
   http://www.thisistrue.com/blog-reader_reaction_to_airport_zt.html
   (And remember: he said "one of", not "the". TSA is still working to
   beat the IRS out of the Number One spot. -rc)

AND AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Only a Southerner Knows....
   http://www.JumboJoke.com

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IN THE QUEUE ON GROXX: "Teens dig up body - use skull as bong". No,
   really: it happened in Humble, Texas. Submit weird stories and vote on
   what submissions are best -- register for free at http://Groxx.com

TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: Two men play "chicken" -- with an approaching
   train. http://www.thisistrue.com/chicken_5934.html

BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: http://www.rough-equivalents.com -- Rough
   Equivalents. A 2007 Ferarri 599 GTB Fiorano F1 costs a ton of money
   right? Well, if you were using pennies to pay for it, you'd need to
   truck 92.75 tons of them down to the dealer. This is the kind of fun
   that Rough Equivalents has with sayings like "a ton of money". It pokes
   fun at topical ideas like "How Much Toilet Paper Is Iraq Costing?" and
   makes you think about one of your favorite tongue twisters, "If Peter
   Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. How many pickled peppers did
   Peter Piper pick?" Rough Equivalents has the answer to this and a lot
   more silly (or are they?) questions. (ME)
-- Bonzer Sites archive: http://www.BonzerSites.com

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Colin Murdoch. As a boy, Murdoch
   struggled with dyslexia, making school difficult. But his aptitude for
   chemistry and engineering kept him at it, and by age 10 he had made his
   own gunpowder and a gun; he used it to hunt rabbits in his native New
   Zealand. He kept up his studies and first became a pharmacist and later
   a veterinarian, and saw that reusable glass syringes were spreading
   disease, so he invented the disposable syringe. He also invented the
   tranquilizer gun, the childproof pill bottle, the silent burglar alarm,
   and more -- he was awarded 46 patents in all. He received the New
   Zealand Order of Merit, but not much money: he was satisfied that his
   inventions improved the lives of millions, and decided not to sue the
   companies who violated his patents. Murdoch was diagnosed with cancer
   of the sinuses in 1991; it spread to the roof of his mouth, part of his
   jaw, and one eye; they were all removed. He died in Timaru, New
   Zealand, on May 4. He was 79.
-- Honorary Unsubscribe archive: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com

YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
   friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
   newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.

TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
   and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
   was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com

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COPYRIGHT 2008 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are
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