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SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 106,000 subscribers in over 200
   countries, this is the 821st weekly issue of...

THIS is TRUE: 7 March 2010            Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
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SMOOTH MOVE: Florida Highway Patrol troopers investigating a crash on
   Cudjoe Key determined the cause: as she drove, a 37-year-old woman was
   shaving her ...uh... "bikini area" while her ex-husband, in the
   passenger seat, was steering. After rear-ending another vehicle, they
   drove another half-mile, and her ex allegedly switched seats with her.
   As for the unusual distraction, "She said she was meeting her boyfriend
   in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," said Trooper Gary
   Dunick. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it." The day
   before the crash, driver Megan Mariah Barnes was convicted of drunk
   driving (not her first offense), and driving with a suspended license.
   Her license was revoked for five years, and she was ordered to turn in
   her car for impound. After the crash, Barnes was arrested and charged
   with hit and run, reckless driving, driving without insurance, and
   driving with a revoked license. Her ex-husband was not charged. (Key
   West Citizen) ...Since once the trooper heard the story, he could
   understand why he wasn't watching the road.

BASES OUT AND THE BATTER IS LOADED: Police in the Washington County,
   Penn., borough of Charleroi were called to a home on a report of a
   disturbance. Jeffrey Newstrom, 21, reported that his mother came home
   "highly intoxicated" and started an argument. As he gathered his things
   to leave, Linda Lee Newstrom, 49, allegedly swung at him with a
   baseball bat, but missed (strike one!). She swung again and missed
   (strike two!), but on her third try she "connected," he said. She
   admitted hitting him, police say, telling responding officers, "I
   brought him into this world and I'll take him out of this world." She
   was arrested and charged with assault, reckless endangerment,
   harassment and disorderly conduct. (Washington Observer-Reporter)
   ...And aggravated use of a tired cliche.

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VIBRATING WITH FEAR: A woman in Bochum, Germany, called police in a
   panic: there was a terrible noise in her bedroom, and she had no idea
   what it could be. Officers were immediately dispatched: dispatchers
   could even hear it over the phone. "Daringly, and with the occupier's
   permission, one of the officers opened the drawer of a wardrobe where
   the noise was coming from," police said in a press release. "Underneath
   some clothes he found a very personal, battery-operated object which
   had obviously switched itself on," the report continued. "The tenant's
   face abruptly changed color," and the officers "wished her a nice
   evening and left." (AFP) ...You might consider Bochum police to be
   sensitive, caring, and discreet -- until you consider the fact they
   issued a press release on the case.

ALL WET: Quan and Angelina Ha wanted to be better citizens, and not use
   so much water in arid southern California. The couple used 299,221
   gallons of water in 2007, and figured their landscaping was using most
   of it. Paying for the water was bad enough, but municipalities were
   starting to fine people for using too much water during droughts.
   "We've got a newborn, so we want to start worrying about her future,"
   Quan said, so the couple tore out their lawn and other thirsty plants,
   replacing it all with bark chips and drought-tolerant plants. In 2009
   their water use was down to 58,348 gallons -- more than an 80 percent
   reduction. No good, the City of Orange said: city law requires that 40
   percent of a yard must be landscaped "predominantly with live plants,"
   and officials aren't impressed by the Has' conservation efforts. The
   city has sued the couple, and filed misdemeanor criminal charges
   against them. "Compliance, that's all we've ever wanted," said Senior
   Assistant City Attorney Wayne Winthers. (Los Angeles Times)
   ...Compliance, control -- what's the difference?

BE ON THE LOOKOUT: "Car with No Wheel Tips off Carroll Township Police to
   DUI" -- Carlisle (Penn.) Sentinel headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

BUT OF COURSE I have the mug shot for the gal in the first story (the
   shaving driver)! http://www.MugShotMuseum.com/smooth_move_megan.html
   has it with some more details and quotes, and another "tagline" below
   her mug shot that I couldn't use in TRUE because, well, it was a bit
   too crude, but more because it depends on learning something from
   seeing her mug shot....

   That's for sure the funniest *story* on the Mug Shot Museum site this
   week. The funniest *mug shot* is in "Kitt in the Hall", if only for the
   absolutely stupid look on the guy's face (which story is pretty good
   too!)

FIVE MORE STORIES: The full edition also had the story of the registered
   lobbyist for an anti-domestic-violence group ...who apparently shot her
   new husband to death. Six-year-old boy suspended from school for
   playing with a "gun" at school ...his pointing finger. Citizens with
   holstered guns allowed into county meeting ...but man with holstered
   pitchfork is arrested. Man caught steeling a beer ...to celebrate being
   let out of jail, where he was held for eight months ...for petty theft.
   Police informant gets the evidence by buying drugs from dealer ...and
   then goes back for more for himself. Every week you miss great stories.
   To get them all see http://www.thisistrue.com/upgrade.html


                                   o o o

BEST MUG SHOTS OF THE WEEK: the funniest *mug shot* is in ""; the
   funniest *story* is "". You'll find those and more at
   http://www.MugShotMuseum.com

AND AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Signs of the Light Bulb (or,
   How many members of your astrological sign does it take to change a
   light bulb?) http://www.JumboJoke.com

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TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: Couple fights police over money they found (with
   one of my favorite taglines): http://thisistrue.com/7062
   And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on
   your iPhone, BlackBerry, Android, or other web-enabled phone!

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Mariya Dolina. She was a "Hero
   of the Soviet Union" ...during a time before the Cold War, when the
   USSR was a strong ally. For the full story (and her photo) see
   http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/mariya_dolina.html
NOTE: The full Honorary Unsubscribe is included in the Premium edition --
   you don't have to click to a web site to read it. Support the
   publication that brings it to you! http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE ARCHIVE: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com

YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
   friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
   newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.

TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
   and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
   was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com

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COPYRIGHT 2010 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are
   completely rewritten by Randy Cassingham using facts from the noted
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