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SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 106,000 subscribers in over 200
   countries, this is the 816th weekly issue of...

THIS is TRUE: 31 January 2010         Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
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EXHIBIT A: "I think the record should reflect that the witness is
   vomiting," said the defense attorney in a murder trial in Winnipeg,
   Man., Canada. Danny Simao, who was being cross-examined, explained he
   suffers from irritable bowel syndrome and acid reflux, and often vomits
   when he's under stress. His testimony was expected to take up to five
   days, but the judge excused court for the day when Simao couldn't stop
   being sick. (Edmonton Sun) ...Usually it's the jury that pukes during
   murder trials.

WHY THE BRITISH EMPIRE ISN'T ONE ANYMORE -- ANOTHER IN A LONG SERIES:
   Nicole Mamo, 48, tried to place a help-wanted advert in Thetford,
   Norfolk, England. The owner of an employment agency, Mamo said
   applicants for the 5.80-pound/hour (US$9.35) position of cleaner "must
   be very reliable and hard-working." But the Thetford Jobcentre refused
   the ad. "She said it was because they could have cases against them for
   discriminating against unreliable people," Mamo said. "We supply the
   [National Health Service] with staff, so it's very important for the
   patients that we have reliable workers." (London Telegraph) ...And
   really, isn't the term "worker" discriminatory against the lazy, too?

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                              SEX, OR ROMANCE?
           What type of Adventure do YOU want on Valentine's Day?

       Take our quick survey and get a FREE Adventures subscription!
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       ----------==========**********O**********==========----------

HARD-HEADED GUY: Travis Copeland, 19, was in court in Lake County, Ill.,
   when he saw an opportunity to escape, sheriff's deputies say. Facing a
   charge of aggravated battery on a police officer, Copeland ran out of
   the felony courtroom with bailiffs in hot pursuit. As he ran through a
   skyway over a street, he saw that deputies were closing on him from
   both ends, so he turned around and tried to dive through the glass. Bad
   idea: the glass is "bulletproof", and he bounced right off. Had he made
   it through, he would have fallen 30 feet to the heavy traffic of the
   street below. (Arlington Heights Daily Herald) ...Hey, he wasn't facing
   felony charges because he's smart.

INSULT TO INJURY: A police officer in Portland, Ore., was sitting at a
   stoplight when she saw a man who was on fire. The unidentified officer
   grabbed a fire extinguisher out of her patrol car's trunk and doused
   the man. It wasn't until later that it was discovered she didn't grab a
   fire extinguisher, but rather a riot-sized can of pepper spray. The
   spray "didn't have any additional reaction" on the man, said Kim Kosmas
   of the Portland Fire Bureau, "with him already being on fire." Police
   Bureau Chief Rosie Sizer said that "in many, many ways, her acts were
   heroic," but the mentally ill man, who was committing suicide, died
   anyway. (Portland Oregonian) ...The officer: not very seasoned. The
   victim: definitely was.

EXCESSIVE FORCE: "Cops Stop Cyclist with Butcher Knife-Pool Cue Axe" --
   AP headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

DID THE BRITISH Jobcentre story sound familiar? It sure did to me, and
   sure enough: http://thisistrue.com/7190 (note the date on that...).

THE OTHER HALF of this week's stories included: Governor's special
   prosecutor and head of anti-gambling task force wins jackpot at casino.
   Man literally coughs up the evidence in stolen jewelry case -- right in
   front of the cops. Cat called for jury duty -- and jury commissioner
   refuses to excuse it from service. Woman doesn't take boyfriend's
   breakup idea very well -- ends up with felony charges. Politician wants
   to replace "negative labels" like "poor children", the "disadvantaged"
   and "at-risk" with politically correct alternative. It's not too late
   to read these stories: just ask for your upgrade to start with the 31
   January issue: http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

I'M HAPPY TO SAY that the Hard-Headed Guy's escape attempt was captured
   on security camera video. I'm even happier to say I was able to get my
   hands on it! It's posted, with his mug shot, on my new site Mug Shot
   Museum: http://www.MugShotMuseum.com/hardheaded_guy.html

   I'm *thrilled* at the uptake on the new site: By Monday, it had already
   broken the world's top-million site list -- 891,415, according to Alexa
   -- and on Monday it was only a week old! Today, just 11 days after
   launch, Alexa had it as the 476,664th most-popular web site in the
   world, and number 44,741 in the U.S. Astounding!

   It now has a Facebook "fan page", too. If you're on Facebook, you can
   join the group at http://www.facebook.com/TheMugShotMuseum and click
   the "Become a Fan" button.

   TRUE also has a fan page: http://www.facebook.com/ThisIsTrue
   as well as Get Out of Hell Free cards: http://www.facebook.com/GOOHF

We all have Twitter presence too:
   http://twitter.com/MugShotMuseum
   http://twitter.com/ThisIsTrue
   http://twitter.com/GOOHF

   We're still working on adding some archive mug shots to the museum, but
   mostly it's new stuff, including some GREAT new postings since last
   week. There's a place to sign up for e-mail updates if you'd like
   notice when new items are added (I'm making sure that a maximum of one
   e-mail alert is sent per day, which should settle down to several per
   week over time). Last, today I added a place to submit mug shots you
   find when browsing news sites: there's a link in the footer of every
   page to that. Enjoy!

                                   o o o

EARLY WARNING! I'm discontinuing the Get Out of Hell Free card. Well,
   sort of: the original "classic" black-print-on-orange-stock card will
   no longer be printed in favor of the MUCH more popular "Deluxe" card,
   which is printed in color on both sides on heavy coated stock, which
   ironically costs less to produce. I recently got a big batch of the
   older cards, so I have PLENTY of packs of 50 and "Jumbo Packs" (boxes
   full) in stock. I told Premium subscribers about this at Christmastime
   to give them a chance to stock up, but I was amused to see that while
   sales of the cards spiked, just about everyone was getting the newer
   "Deluxe" cards! I always carry a stack of the Deluxe cards, but don't
   bother with the "classic" ones anymore. I've noticed that when people
   are wondering what the cards are about, they virtually always turn it
   over to look at the back; the "Classic" cards don't have anything
   there, but the Deluxe version has a brief explanation. They're much
   more "impressive" to the recipient, too. But YOU may prefer the older
   version; if so, then stock up while you have the chance, because there
   won't be any more made after current stock is gone. See the buggy old
   shopping cart at https://secure.thisistrue.com/goohf to see everything
   currently available in the GOOHF category. (The cart is going to be
   upgraded "soon".)

                                   o o o

AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Zero Gravity Bureaucracy -- the
   Real Story. I got tired of the old "space pen" joke that turned into a
   "this is really true!" urban legend, so I explain what the truth is --
   which you may actually find more funny! http://www.JumboJoke.com

       ----------==========**********O**********==========----------
            YOU'RE ASKED AT WORK to supervise a Project Manager.
        Quick: how do you learn more without looking like an idiot?

             Learn the basics of Project Management so you can
         get up to speed quickly on the topic and not look stupid.

       A New Article Every Week: http://www.ProjectManagementWonk.com
       ----------==========**********O**********==========----------

TO SUBMIT STORIES and vote on what submissions are best, register for
   free at http://Groxx.com

TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: The British Empire might not be an empire anymore,
   but America is in their footsteps: http://thisistrue.com/7012
   And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on
   your iPhone, BlackBerry, Android, or other web-enabled phone!

BONZER WEB SITE OF THE WEEK: http://www.CaringBridge.org -- CaringBridge.
   This non-profit site allows people to create special web sites to keep
   family and friends informed during "difficult times" (medical problems,
   military deployment, etc.) The CaringBridge software does the work so
   people can just use it to communicate, rather than try to learn how to
   create web sites. More than 183,000 sites have been created for
   families to keep in touch at no cost to them, and with no advertising
   on the site. To keep things private visitors have to know an exact URL
   to get to an individual site, and the family can add password
   protection for extra privacy.
-- Bonzer Sites archive: http://www.BonzerSites.com

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Ralph McInerny. A religious
   scholar, McInerny is better known for his novels, including a series
   that was made into a popular TV show. For the full story see
   http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/ralph_mcinerny.html
NOTE: The full Honorary Unsubscribe is included in the Premium edition --
   you don't have to click to a web site to read it. Support the
   publication that brings it to you! http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
HONORARY SUBSCRIBE ARCHIVE: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com

YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
   friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
   newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.

TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
   and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
   was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com

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   Published weekly by ThisIsTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA
   (ISSN 1521-1932). TRUE is available to newspapers as a regular feature
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COPYRIGHT 2010 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are
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