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Since 1994, this is the 1129th issue of Randy Cassingham’s...

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31 January 2016: Politically Incorrect Copyright ©2016

Before the Stories: A video for you this week: John Cleese of “Monty Python” fame explains why the world should reject political correctness: that some are “offended” by things doesn’t mean we should change how we speak, because there’s no end to it. It’s only 2-1/2 minutes, on Youtube.

After seeing the above in Monday’s Premium edition, Don in Florida adds: “More on politically correctness on Youtube — by George Carlin but without the foul language generally associated with his work.” Also excellent.

We’re All Going to Jail: When a masked man was spotted outside Brickett Elementary School in Lynn, Mass., with a gun, the principal didn’t take any chances: she put the school on lockdown and called 911, even though she “thought the gun might be plastic.” It was, and so was the mask: the man was dressed as a “Star Wars” stormtrooper. “The way things are today, you can’t have that,” said Lynn Police spokesman Lt. Rick Donnelly. George Cross, 40, was arrested and charged with “disturbing a school” and loitering within 1,000 feet of a school, even though, Donnelly admits, “Our feelings are that he was not there to cause harm to the kids.” Cross “used bad judgment,” Donnelly says, which “did cause a disturbance and we can’t tolerate that.” (RC/Salem News) ...Bad judgment: now a criminal offense.

Killing the Enemy: Holland is part of an international coalition against ISIS. “By killing a member of [ISIS] I have probably saved dozens of lives,” said Jitse Akse. And yet Dutch authorities have arrested a man reporters identified as Akse, 47, who allegedly joined Kurdish fighters to battle ISIS. “Dutch law — apart from in exceptional circumstances like self-defence — does not give citizens the right to use force and particularly not deadly force,” prosecutors said. The man was released, but his passport was taken and he could be charged with murder. (AC/AFP) ...Because the difference between war and murder is whether your government told you to do it.

Wanna-be Terrorist in Australia’s plans included an explosives-packed kangaroo. Fast food executive caught on camera attacking Uber driver — so naturally he sues the Uber driver. Petty thief gets instant karma. Attentive cop gets Scottish terriers out of a jam. British court rules that it’s OK to use a ldquo;disproportionate” level of force against home intruders. Man convinces robbers to “come back tomorrow” because he’ll have more money then. Police arrest “gunman” who had written “Hit Man” on his own shirt. Businessman calls police on customer; customer tells police what the business is really about. Obliviots caught selling illegal moonshine ...on Facebook. It’s not too late to read these stories: just ask for your upgrade to start with the 31 January issue. Upgrades start at just $12!

A Big Hairy Adventure: Donald Trump has been making the U.S. Presidential race into quite a show, and now he’s topping the charts in the world of erotic literature. Comedian Elijah Daniel, 22, wrote the book in four hours while drunk, and now Trump Temptations: The Billionaire & The Bellboy is ranked number 1 in Amazon’s “humorous erotica” and “gay erotica” categories. “With his oily orange skin glistening in the sunlight as if he were a soggy cheeto,” one passage reads. Most of the book’s reviews on Amazon give it five stars. “This has to be the single most impressive piece of writing in modern american literary history,” wrote one reviewer. “When I am on my death bed I will be reading this book and my family will say ‘Again?’ and I will say ‘Yes, now and forever’.” Senator Ted Cruz has also has an erotic book written about him: Lacey Noonan’s A Cruzmas Carol: Ted Cruz Takes a Dickens of a Constitutional. (MS/Los Angeles Times) ...This could be a whole new, fun way to elect a President.

Nightcrawler: A couple in Vestavia Hills, Ala., called police after spotting a man in their driveway late at night: he was wearing only a Ronald Reagan Halloween mask and a strategically placed sock. “It was so cold outside” that “police said he wouldn’t last long” without any clothes on, said homeowner Bart Yancey. “I got a chuckle from it later, but at the same time, it’s very concerning,” said his wife, Danielle. “I don’t know what he was planning on doing.” At least, she added, “I don’t think he had a gun on him.” (RC/Birmingham News) ...What about the derringer tucked into his sock?

Darwin at Work
Injuries Soar after Michigan Stops Requiring Motorcycle Helmets
Reuters headline

Did You Find an Error? Check the Errata Page for updates.

This Week’s Contributors: MS-Mike Straw, AC-Alexander Cohen, RC-Randy Cassingham.

My Own “Definition” of Political Correctness appeared as a tagline of a story way back in 2006. That’s on my blog.

Yikes: There are Multiple Trump erotica titles available on Amazon — there were dozens of results when I searched “Trump erotica” after seeing that story. I had no idea. And somehow, I wish I still had no idea! Gee: thanks, Mike.... :-)

(My assistant and I amused ourselves for a few minutes by searching “[random word] erotica” on Amazon. “Insect erotica”? Yep, from Pollinate My Flower to Mantis in my Pantis — we just roared!)

There Are No Outside Ads included this week to call attention to the option to not have ads every week: not only are there more stories in the Premium edition, but it has no outside ads, and has the full text of the Honorary Unsubscribe. And other nice benefits! But the best part of all is, Premium subscriptions make True possible — you’re part of making it happen. See the upgrade options here and get the full True experience.

The Latest Posting to Jumbo Joke: What's Better: Work, or Prison?.

Ten Years Ago in True: Just how easy do stupid criminals make things for the police? This easy: The No-Tell Motel II

This Week’s Honorary Unsubscribe goes to Ken Sailors, who was forced to think fast — and changed the game of basketball forever.

  • This Entry in the Archive: Ken Sailors (OK to share link)
  • And So Long to Earth, Wind and Fire founder Maurice White, who died February 3 from Parkinson’s disease at 74.
  • H.U. Archive

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