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Since 1994, this is the 1193rd issue of Randy Cassingham’s...

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23 April 2017: Last Chance on GOOHFpack Copyright ©2017 http://www.thisistrue.com

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The competing chile license platesKids Last: From Adopt a Shelter Pet to Wildlife Sporting, Colorado has fully bought in to the special interest license plate, since each one issued earns the state an extra $50 in fees. But, the state says, things have gotten out of hand and several specialty plates are likely going to be discontinued. For instance, Kids First will likely be pulled from circulation since it’s not very popular; same with Child Loss Awareness and Girl Scouts. Support the Horse is more popular than all three of those — but by so little it’s in danger of being pulled too. With more than 100 plate options, even sport team plates are unpopular, with the Rockies (baseball), Avalanche (hockey), and Nuggets (basketball) plates all in danger. But a new specialty plate is being introduced: Pueblo Chile. When New Mexico’s legislature heard that was coming, they quickly voted in their own “Chile Capital of the World” plate, getting it on the street before Colorado could issue theirs. (RC/KUSA Denver) ...Were they red-faced, or green with envy?

The Name of the Beast: District of Columbia? What’s that? The question has been a problem for residents of the U.S. capital city trying to get on airplanes or prove they’re old enough to buy alcohol legally; one Transportation Security Administration agent even asked a journalist from the District for his passport. So D.C.’s Department of Motor Vehicles is redesigning its driver’s licenses to say “Washington, D.C.” — a name more familiar outside the Beltway, but not actually found in the city’s Home Rule Charter. (AC/WAMU District of Columbia) ...Alternative designs say “Mordor,” or simply “The Swamp.”

Like Mother, Like Daughter: Someone flagged down patrolling police officers in Panama City Beach, Fla., to report they had found two children, aged 2 and 3, alone in a parked pickup truck. The children were screaming, and officers also noticed marijuana and paraphernalia in “several locations” inside the truck. The kids had been there for at least 30 minutes, witnesses said, and no one had come to check on them. Police found the children’s mother and grandmother in a nearby parlor — getting tattoos. Shannon Farrow Anderson, 45, and Hannah Ashlyn Anderson, 21, were charged with two counts of child neglect, and one count each of possessing marijuana and paraphernalia. (RC/Panama City News Herald) ...And may their incomplete tattoos forever remind them of their incomplete humanity.

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It’s Wabbit Season: It all started when Kevin Hemmerich, 28, turned himself in at the Hopatcong, N.J., police headquarters on an outstanding warrant related to a vehicle accident. Hemmerich’s brother, Jason, captured the surrender on video, which showed Hemmerich’s choice of attire: a bunny suit. Hemmerich also brought an air horn with him, which he blasted repeatedly while waiting in the lobby. Finally, Officer Nicholas Maresca Jr. and another officer came out and confronted the brothers. The officers began cursing and yelling, and Maresca allegedly slapped Hemmerich in the face. Hemmerich was charged with disorderly conduct, and Ofc. Maresca was charged with simple assault and harassment. The two appeared before the same judge on the same day. Anthony Iacullo, Maresca’s attorney, said that Maresca “acted appropriately and in accordance with his training and experience.” He pleaded not guilty and will be going to trial. Hemmerich pleaded guilty and was fined $500. Before accepting the plea, Judge John Mulhern reviewed the incident and the accused’s decision to wear a bunny suit. “You understand that is disruptive and tumultuous,” Mulhern asked. “Yes,” Hemmerich replied. (MS/NJ.com, NBC 4 New York) ...Th-th-that’s all folks!

Grocery Store Clerk Pockets more than 34,000 lottery tickets, but.... There’s an odd contaminant in a batch of Southern Style Hash Browns. Judge censured after he decides to read his decision aloud: it takes him four days, and the trial was only six. School accuses 12-year-old girl of selling ...what?! Judge praises man who had raped two family members (and then sends him to prison). High school student calmly saves his friend’s life. You miss at least half the stories every week! The full edition has no outside ads, and (of course!) no upgrade pitches, just more stories, and it’s well under a buck an issue. See upgrade options here and quit missing most of the stories!

Seeing the Light: The Berkeley Energy Group, a coal company in Eastern Kentucky, has a plan for a former strip mine — a barren wasteland that’s fairly flat now that they’re done with it. They want to create the state’s largest solar farm. They plan to install hundreds of thousands of solar panels on the site in a joint venture with EDF Renewable Energy. The project, which would generate 50 to 100 megawatts of power, would create jobs for the miners who used to work at the site, says company executive Ryan Johns, who came up with the idea with the former state Auditor. “A project of this magnitude has never been proposed in Appalachia,” said EDF’s development manager, Doug Copeland. Maybe Johns got the idea from the Kentucky Coal Mining Museum in Benham: they’ve already started putting solar panels on the museum building, which it thinks will save it about $10,000 a year in energy costs. Benham, a former coal town, used to have 3,000 residents, but that has dwindled to about 500 with the decline in the coal industry. The museum is owned by the Southeast Kentucky Community and Technical College. “Any way to save money is always appreciated and helpful,” says college spokesman Brandon Robinson, “especially when that’s money putting back toward teaching our students.” (RC/Louisville Courier-Journal, WYMT Hazard) ...Suggested new educational program: solar power engineering.


Well of Course He Was
Man in ‘Drunk Lives Matter’ T-shirt Charged with DUI
Harrisburg (Pa.) Patriot News headline

Did You Find an Error? Check the Errata Page for updates.

This Week’s Contributors: MS-Mike Straw, AC-Alexander Cohen, RC-Randy Cassingham.


I Know Many of You won’t “get” the tagline on the first (chile pepper) story. New Mexico has an official “state question”: “Red or Green?” Which is what waiters ask when you order something with mouth-watering chile sauce on it: red sauce, or green? One answer recognized by any waiter asking the question, and usually my response: “Make it Christmas” — both. Neither is reliably hotter than the other: “It depends.” Both have their own flavor complexities, and I enjoy trying both, especially when I’m at a new place. I make both myself: there’s nothing like a bowl of good stacked enchiladas with extra sauce!

“Jerry the Geek” wrote on Friday: “I teach a monthly class in Practical Pistol Competition Safety in Oregon. Practical Pistol, in case you’re unfamiliar with the term, is a shooting sport where competitors draw their pistol from the holster and engage targets with the goal to shoot quickly; both accuracy and time are factored into their score. Participants are sometimes not as proficient as they think they are, and so the combined pressure of time, drawing their pistol from their holster, and still maintaining a high level of accuracy -- may be a little more challenging than they had expected. Sometimes they even violate basic firearms-handling safety rules! No worries: I’m right beside them where I can keep the muzzle pointed safely downrange, but I’ve had more guns pointed at my belly while teaching this class than I ever experienced in a war zone. When they do that, I take away their GOOHF card, which I issue at the beginning of each training session. The attendees who get through the class with their GOOHF card intact are proud of their achievement, and I’m pleased as punch when an entire class goes home with card in hand.

“It’s not so much that I’m proud of them; I’m just happy that nobody pointed a loaded pistol at me that day. I run about 200 students through the course every year, and I only retrieved a dozen or two cards. (Well, I’m a softie: if the folks straighten up and observe the basic rules of firearm safety for the rest of the day, I give their GOOHF cards back. They consider it an honor.) Thanks for providing the GOOHF cards. I bought 500 of them a couple of years back, and I expect to order another batch this year. No, I’m not sucking up in hopes that you’ll send me a ‘free’ order; believe me, it’s money well spent.”

Hey, if it motivates your students to be extra careful as they develop their better habits, it’s great! (And it helps keep you from getting gut-shot and them from committing a negligent mistake, so indeed that’s very cheap insurance.) And really, it’s another fascinating example of how people use the Get Out of Hell Free card to get people to think. For those who need some cards soon, like Jerry, there’s no better time than when there’s a GOOHFpack available! You only have until May 1 to get the current offering of $80 worth of stuff for just $52 — 35 percent off (plus an extra $7 spiff for Premium subscribers). Full details and ordering here — but note this deal ends May 1: Monday!


Ten Years Ago in True: A certain kind of business in Amsterdam plans to have an “open day” to especially reassure ...who?! Well, the hint is in the slug: Green Light for Red Lights (wait... another Red or Green?!)

Today on Randy’s Random: Yep, we all make mistakes. Can you get through it with No Regrets?

This Week’s Honorary Unsubscribe goes to Chris Bearde. An Australian, Bearde made a career out of helping others be funny. Read his story in the archive: Chris Bearde.

  • And So Long to actress Erin Moran, best known as Richie Cunningham’s younger sister Joanie on Happy Days, found dead at her home on April 22. An autopsy listed the cause of death as an unspecified stage four cancer. She was 56.
  • Honorary Unsubscribe Archive

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Copyright ©2017 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All broadcast, publication, retransmission to e-mail lists, WWW, or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission from the author. Manual forwarding by e-mail to friends is allowed IF 1) the text is forwarded in its entirety from the “Since 1994” line on top through the end of this paragraph and 2) No fee is charged. We request that you forward no more than three copies to any one person — after that, they should get their own free subscription. We always appreciate people who report violations of our copyright to us.


Subscriptions to This is True are Free at http://www.thisistrue.com. All stories are completely rewritten using facts from the noted sources. This is True® is a registered trademark. Published weekly by ThisisTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA (ISSN 1521-1932).

Copyright ©2017 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All broadcast, publication, retransmission to e-mail lists, WWW, or any other copying or storage, in any medium, online or not, is strictly prohibited without prior written permission from the author. Manual forwarding by e-mail to friends is allowed IF 1) the text is forwarded in its entirety from the “Since 1994” line on top through the end of this paragraph and 2) No fee is charged. We request that you forward no more than three copies to any one person — after that, they should get their own free subscription. We always appreciate people who report violations of our copyright to us.


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