Excuses, Excuses

In June, Richard Nieves, 21, called Aurora, Ill., police and reported that he had witnessed a child’s kidnaping. “People say you can speak with your eyes, and hers seemed to be saying, Help me. Get me out of here. Do something for me’,” Nieves said at the time. A massive police hunt turned up nothing, and after flunking a lie detector test, Nieves admitted making the story up. He was sentenced last week to two years’ probation and 500 hours of community service. Why did he do it? He needed an excuse for taking a day off work as a machine operator. (AP) ...What, “I have bubonic plague” stopped working?