Finally, a Winner

Al Gore has won the election ...for district director of the Marion Soil and Water Conservation Board in Salem, Ore. No one ran for the post, so write-ins ruled the day. Gore won with 23 of the 4,570 votes cast, easily beating George W. Bush, who also got some votes. “Voters don’t understand what it means when they write in a silly name,” said Marion County Clerk Al Davidson. “But it’s their right, and it’s their tax dollars that pay for it.” The Vice President cannot actually take the job, however, since to serve “you have to own or manage land in the zone,” Davidson said. Gore actually came in second, but vote winner Donald Duck was disqualified because he’s an animated character. (AP) ...Which is something no one has ever said about Gore.