I had noticed that orders for my "Get Out of Hell Free" cards had picked up a bit, and I'd soon need to print some more. So in the issue dated 5 August 2001 (released online on 10 August), I talked about them briefly and gave the link to the GOOHF info and order pages (see bottom of this page for links). In one week, readers ordered 4,000 cards.

In With the New, Out With the Old Click the graphic for a closer look. I suppose my lawyer would be pleased if even here I made the mention of this disclaimer: "This product is not affiliated with, nor authorized, endorsed or licensed in any way, by Hasbro Corp, its affiliates or subsidiaries. It is a parody."

I was reasonably surprised at that kind of volume, considering the cards had been available for over a year. But 4,000 is not really any sort of record -- when they were first released, we had some bigger weeks than that. In the next week's issue (released online on 17 August), I noted that the newly printed cards had a new, much clearer graphic of the "Uncle Pennybags" character. Wow! The response was incredible! About 12,000 cards were ordered in that one week, which is a record (see below). A few, however, couldn't really see any difference in the graphic, so I'm including a comparison shot here. When presented together, the difference is fairly obvious. Right?

In that 17 August mention of the new graphic, I plugged the site of my artist friend that created the card's new image, Tom Vilot. I then got a letter from Lisa (no location given), who complained: "I was shocked to see the link to 'your good friends' web site. Many people would be shocked at the photos on Tom Vilots' home page. you should have warned the readers of the explicit nature of this link." I then noted that Tom reports record traffic on his site, and suspected that "word that Tom is following the centuries-long tradition of painting the classic nude form will cause that record to be broken pretty fast." Boy, did it ever! Take a look at the graphic showing Tom's weekly site traffic over the last year, in hits:

The tiny blip next to the big leap was previously Tom's "record-breaking" hit count for a one-week period. Look what Lisa did by tattling on Tom's "they're naked and I think I can tell what they're doing, even though I can't really see anything" fine-art paintings! Yes, that's well over 120,000 hits! Tom, who declared the jump in hits "Utter Insanity!", thanks Lisa for complaining very, very much! But he did tell me that he's had a hard time keeping up with all the e-mail asking for prices on various pieces, but he'll get back to you if you e-mail him. His address is available on his site.

There was, of course, some reader reaction to Lisa's "shock" at the "explicit" paintings. Here are just a few:

• The reader who was shocked by the images on the site of your friend Tom Vilot sure hasn't gotten out to art museums much, has she?? It's not like nudes are a new subject, is it? She's probably the type who would be offended by the pre-historic 'fertility' figurines archeologists have been discovering for years. After all, in no uncertain terms, those show outsized genitalia, male or female. I suppose that centuries famous painting of Venus on the 'halfshell' as my art appreciation teacher jokingly called it would have the poor woman near fainting. The sight of many of Rueben's well fleshed women (by today's standards) would probably have sent her running to the dean of students to file a lawsuit! Sheesh! I wish people would open their minds to new experiences. Mr Vilot has done many beautiful pieces of artwork in a very 'tasteful' manner. A bare breast really isn't something that today's society is too concerned about. (There *are* worse things to view!) Perhaps your reader would have preferred depictions of the horrors of war & violence? I have never understood why adults can't view the human body as art without sniggers or outrage. In my opinion, views of beauty & love are far more preferable than views of carnage such as those seen on the nightly news. From me.. LIGHTEN UP lady!! It's the 21st century, not Victorian times! --Sue, Texas

• The comment from the ill-informed reader that expressed shock at seeing the "graphic" images on a graphic designer's web-site intrigued me enough to look and see what all the fuss was about. I was shocked not to find anything shocking. There was, perhaps, one possibly suggestive image, but other than that one, I found his art rather pleasing and, if nothing else, less risque than most Disney movies out these days. Ah, but after all, it is the naysayers and puritanical hypocrites that bring more attention to the otherwise mundane aspect of our collective world. If it weren't for the overly aggressive, vocal, far-right-wing minority, most of us would never even know we had a problem. I know you probably wouldn't stoop to such an easy ad campaign as starting to use many 4 letter words indescriminately sprinkled throughout [your] columns to generate publicity for your sites, buuuuutttttt........ I just wish I could harness all that supposed shock to help lower my summer electric bills. --Charles, Texas

Yet there were no more complaints -- unless you call this one a complaint:

• After Lisa from nowhere's complaint, I followed the link to your artist friend's pornographic website, and was deeply dissappointed that it wasn't more offensive. Honestly, you shouldn't give any warning, just getting my hopes up, only to let me down. I guess I have to find my online smut elsewhere. --Ray, Luxembourg

Yes, well. They pretty much said it all, so I can just keep my mouth shut, can't I?

The 12,000 cards ordered in one week represents, I'm pretty sure, a GOOHF sales record. I won't wax rhetoric about why I think that is -- one reader suggested it's "an indication that people are fed up with being told what to believe when it comes to the afterlife!" -- but it is certainly interesting. Several have suggested that I should have charged more for the cards, and now I'd "be RICH!!" But that's not the point of the cards. They are, rather, simply to make fun of those "people who insist on telling you what to believe when it comes to the afterlife" and, of course, to make fun of the "in trouble? Get out of it FREE!" trivialization of the MONOPOLY® game. And, of course, it helps promote the sassy common sense represented in pretty much every issue of True. So no, I'm not looking to get "rich" from the cards, so I've priced them at a point that covers their printing, packaging and shipping (I do, after all, have to hire someone to do all that!) It also enables people to order a lot more cards -- it is very, very fun to hand them to people, let me tell you! I've given away many thousands myself, and still delight in handing them out.

Plenty of Cards Still Going Out Monday's outgoing GOOHF mail ready to go to the post office. And this wasn't even during our record-setting week! This mailing includes the cards ordered over the weekend of 25 August -- about 3,500 cards going as far out as Australia. As many as 12,000 cards have been mailed out in just one week.

I am, to be sure, mightily amused at the cards' popularity. If you want some (or some more!), see the appropriate link below. Cheers! --Randy Cassingham

Links

• Where to order GOOHF items

• The GOOHF info page

• The story that led me to create the GOOHF cards in the first place.

• MONOPOLY® game owner Hasbro reacts to the parody.

• The cards have been mentioned on many web sites (thank you webmasters!) -- and in Playboy magazine. (Oh dear: is that a shocking, explicit media outlet? Let me ponder that while you click the link. Sorry, the link does not go to the Playboy site, but to a page on this site that tells you what they said.)

• Fine artist Tom Vilot's web site -- shocking! explicit! Tom created the new GOOHF graphic. (Opens in a new window.)