Jingle Bells

The Santa Claus House, a year-round Christmas shop in the town of North Pole, Alaska, is in need of a few good men. Especially fat, jolly men. But no one wants the full time job of playing Santa Claus for tourists, so currently a mannequin is sitting in Santa’s big chair. “We just detour them to the reindeer” if a tourist comes in looking for Saint Nick, says store clerk Angela Rickels. The job pays $7.50 an hour, and the applicant must be willing to greet tour buses, shout “ho ho ho”, and listen to children’s gift requirements through the summer season. (AP) ...Children are forgiving. Just tell them he’s at the Betty Ford Clinic, getting in touch with his inner self. They’ll understand.