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SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 42,320 subscribers (up 20 from last
  week), this is the 839th weekly issue of Randy Cassingham's...

THIS is TRUE: 11 July 2010            Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
BRAIIINS! Witnesses of a freeway crash in Portland, Ore., were horrified
  by the injuries, and a squadron of emergency responders was dispatched.
  But the five people in the overturned car all had non-life-threatening
  injuries: the witnesses were just confused because the victims were
  going to a party -- and all were dressed as zombies. "We're glad that
  everyone is alive, despite being 'undead'," a police spokesman said.
  (KGW-TV) ...But darn it, they missed out on the party handburgers.

KEYLESS ENTRY: Chase Fitzgerald, 24, was perplexed when his key wouldn't
  open the door on his Jeep Cherokee, which he had parked in a bank's lot
  in Stroudsburg, Penn. So naturally he used a concrete block to smash
  the window -- and then realized that it wasn't his Jeep. Police cited
  him for criminal mischief after assessing the damages at $2,555.
  (Pocono Record) ...Using the same formula that puts the street value of
  an ounce of pot at $1,500.

      ----------==========**********O**********==========----------
                        Your Spouse is Into Tools
                ...and you have no idea what to buy them.

           Tool Wonk will help you get up to speed quickly and
              not look stupid to salesmen when buying tools,
                     parts, supplies and accessories.
            MANY New Articles Posted: http://www.ToolWonk.com
      ----------==========**********O**********==========----------

SAY WHAT? When a woman in Calgary, Alta., Canada, called police to report
  a burglary, one of the officers to respond was Const. Charanjit Meharu,
  an immigrant from India. The hysterical victim already had a list of
  everything stolen. Then her phone rang. She spoke to her father in
  Quebec, and explained in French that "she and her boyfriend made up the
  story to make an insurance claim," Meharu said later. "By the end [of
  the call] I had about 10 pages of notes, and I said, 'Merci beaucoup'.
  She didn't expect a brown guy to speak French." The officer speaks
  seven languages. (Calgary Sun) ...Though which ones specifically remain
  a state secret.

THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM: A gas station attendant in Surprise, Ariz., found a
  man unconscious in a truck parked in the station's lot. He knocked on
  the man's window, and the man woke up and started screaming. The
  attendant called police. Officers arrived to find William Meadows, 47,
  still screaming and acting violently, so the officer, thinking Meadows
  might be having a reaction to drugs, called for paramedics. Meadows
  allegedly bit a paramedic and, once at the hospital, punched a nurse.
  Doctors found no evidence of drugs or alcohol in his system, so Meadows
  was arrested and charged with aggravated assault and disorderly
  conduct. So what was he so upset about? He told the officer that the
  gas station attendant had interrupted "a very good dream" when he
  knocked on the window. (Arizona Republic) ...The dream: that he was an
  honest, productive member of society.

IS THAT ALL YOU'VE GOT, PUNK? "Man Spits Bullet out after Being Shot in
  Mouth on South Side" -- Chicago Sun-Times headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

ONE OF MY GOOD BUDDIES in my Mastermind group is Don Crowther. I've known
  Don for nearly 10 years now, and he's known as one of the "big idea"
  guys in the group. When he makes a presentation at group conferences,
  even the millionaire big-wheels pay rapt attention. I'm no fool: I also
  carefully listen to everything Don has to say.

  Don got our attention at a conference months ago when he announced in
  his typical loud and enthusiastic voice, "Social media doesn't work!"
  (to make money). Don's a top social media expert (Twitter, Facebook,
  etc.), and has been studying it (and profiting from it: he created the
  social media SMARTS program) for some time now, so that bold statement
  got everyone's attention immediately. Then, of course, he dropped the
  other shoe: "Unless you do it right." He proceeded to outline what he's
  working on, which is teaching people how to "do it right" so that they
  CAN make money, and sometimes lots of it.

  This isn't theoretical stuff: he's creating a series of videos that
  shows how. In the first video he released a few days ago, he outlined
  some facts about the influence of social media, and a few examples of
  people making money through social sites.

  In the second video that he released today, he gives the "secret" to an
  "integration" strategy he developed that he has taught to three people.
  The first two people have made six figures from the strategy. The third
  has made SEVEN figures -- in just six months. It's definitely not a
  get-rich-quick scheme: there is actual work involved. But if you have
  interest in using social media in a true businesslike way, you want to
  subscribe to Don's e-mail list to get notifications of the new videos
  he's posting -- and then watch them! The subscription (and videos) are
  free: http://hop2.cc/social

                                  o o o

SPEAKING OF MY MASTERMIND group, my new site to teach people how to
  create Mastermind groups is going gangbusters, with more than 2,100
  people already signed up for the free e-mail course I'm offering. Today
  (see the latest blog posting, at the bottom of the home page) I
  announced a new Mastermind group -- for would-be Mastermind group
  leaders to help them be more successful in creating, recruiting members
  for, and leading their groups. I don't believe there's a finite amount
  of success in the world -- that if someone has success, someone else
  will lack it. It's not a matter of "luck", either: I believe with the
  right knowledge and some hard work, anyone can be more successful than
  they are now. I didn't get where I am because I'm smarter than everyone
  else: I've had help from group members like Don Crowther who have shown
  me how to do more, and profit more, by working smarter, not harder. My
  new site is there to literally give away the basics on how you can get
  that kind of help too. Sign up at http://www.MastermindSource.com

THE REST OF THIS WEEK'S STORIES include: Man throws party and shoots his
  mouth off, insulting a guest -- and they shoot back, for real. Man
  finds out the hard way how stupid it is to carry a sloshing can of
  gasoline on the seat next to him as he drives. Jail inmate escapes, and
  really gets trashed. Woman takes kids to visit their father, but she
  gets upset and pulls WHAT out of the baby carriage?! Plus: July's truly
  funny Reader Tagline Challenge results. You can still read it all:
  upgrades start at just $10, and you can ask for yours to start with the
  11 July issue. http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

BEST OF THE MUG SHOT MUSEUM this week: A 1-2 punch: start with "Disaster
  Preparedness: Alien Edition" to convince yourself that the guy there is
  crazy, and then click the Next Entry link to "Did Someone Say 'Space
  Alien'?" and you'll wonder if the first guy was right! And you've GOT
  to see "The Devil You Say!" and see if you want him dating your
  daughter. You'll find those and more at http://www.MugShotMuseum.com

AND AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: Man's Best Friend (How Dogs
  and Men Are Alike, How Dogs Are Better Than Men, and How Dogs Are
  Better Than Women). http://www.JumboJoke.com

      ----------==========**********O**********==========----------
               LOSING SLEEP TRYING TO DECIDE ON A NEW BED?

      Memory foam or latex mattresses/toppers, airbeds or waterbeds,
      innerspring coil or futon mattresses, all without sales hype:
       NOT affiliated with any store or manufacturer. Just personal
           experience and research so you can get a non-biased
       perspective on your options. http://www.TheMattressLady.com
      ----------==========**********O**********==========----------

TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: Russian university professor invents ...gasoline-
  powered BOOTS? Da! Boing! http://thisistrue.com/7278
  And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on
  your iPhone, BlackBerry, Android, or other web-enabled phone!

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Robert Butler. A psychiatrist,
  Butler worked to improve what's happening to YOU right now. (No, not
  "lots of people" or "most people", I mean *you* specifically.) For the
  full story see http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/robert_butler.html

YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
  friend with your personal recommendation. A friend told YOU about this
  newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.

TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
  and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
  was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com

SUBSCRIPTIONS to "This is True" are free at http://www.thisistrue.com
  Published weekly by ThisIsTrue.Inc, PO Box 666, Ridgway CO 81432 USA
  (ISSN 1521-1932). TRUE is available to newspapers as a regular feature
  column. "This is True" is a registered trademark of ThisIsTrue.Inc

COPYRIGHT 2010 by Randy Cassingham, All Rights Reserved. All stories are
  completely rewritten by Randy Cassingham using facts from the noted
  sources. ALL broadcast, publication, retransmission to e-mail lists,
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  forward no more than three copies to any one person -- after that, they
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