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SINCE 1994 and reaching more than 107,000 subscribers in over 200
   countries, this is the 803rd weekly issue of...

THIS is TRUE: 1 November 2009         Copyright http://www.thisistrue.com
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FATHER OF THE YEAR: A man was arrested in a hospital in Ogden, Utah,
   after allegedly groping a nurse. Adam Jay Manning, 30, wasn't a patient
   at the McKay-Dee Hospital: he had brought his girlfriend there to give
   birth to his child. Manning looked "up and down" at the nurse and told
   her "how attractive she was, how cute she was," said police spokesman
   Lt. Loring Draper. The nurse ignored him, but he tried to massage her
   shoulders and then grabbed her breast, Draper said. She pulled away,
   but Manning kept after her and allegedly grabbed her again. "After the
   second time, the nurse asked what he was doing," Draper said. His
   girlfriend "responded he was just drunk." That's when the nurse called
   police. Manning has been charged with forcible sexual abuse, a felony
   which calls for 1-15 years in prison. "He says he doesn't remember any
   of it," said his public defender. "He still hasn't seen his child."
   (Ogden Standard-Examiner, Salt Lake Tribune) ...It might be better for
   the kid if he never does.

POLITICS AS USUAL: Reynolds Smith, Jr. has been named to the Mobile
   County (Ala.) Democratic Executive Committee, announced state party
   Chairman Joe Turnham in a press release. Smith would have been 84 years
   old had he not died nearly a year before his appointment. Party
   officials blame outdated records for the gaffe, but that's far from the
   only contention in the matter. Another appointee, Ed Kahalley Sr.,
   refuses to serve, noting Turnham is "part of the problem, not the
   solution," and two members of the previous committee have filed a
   lawsuit to keep the new committee from being seated, even though they
   were held over. (Mobile Press-Register) ...Wait, I'm confused: is
   giving dead people the vote "part of the problem, or part of the
   solution"?

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SHE SAID, WHO SAID? "She came at my client with the stiletto [heeled
   shoe] and my client acted accordingly," says attorney Tom DiCaudo. His
   client, Chetania Davis, 22, a stripper in Akron, Ohio, had a dispute
   with a new dancer. Davis was allegedly upset with the new dancer, Jo
   Nolan, 52, who had started work at the club that day, because Davis
   thought she'd lure regular customers away from her. After angry words,
   Nolan allegedly came at Davis wielding her shoe, and Davis, who was
   eight months pregnant, grabbed the shoe and whacked Nolan over the head
   with it. Nolan suffered lacerations that took seven surgical staples to
   close. Assistant Prosecutor Norman Schroth called it a "he said, she
   said" case, and offered Davis a plea bargain: one year of probation.
   She accepted to "put all of this behind her," DiCaudo said. (Akron
   Beacon Journal) ...A pregnant stripper and a 52-year-old first-day
   stripper have a "he said, she said" argument and she wants to put it
   behind her? But this would make great reality series!

ZERO COMMON SENSE: Matthew Whalen, 17, a senior at Lansingburgh (N.Y.)
   High School, is an honors student, an Eagle Scout, and wants to attend
   the U.S. military academy at West Point. He has already completed an
   Army basic training course and serves in the National Guard, and was
   given an award for saving a life. When school officials interrogated
   him about a report that he "carries a knife," he said the only knife he
   has is one with a 1-1/2" blade in a survival pack in his car. "They
   asked me to show it to them," Whalen said. "I didn't realize it was
   going to be a problem. I knew it wasn't illegal -- my police chief
   grandfather gave the knife to me." His car was in the school's parking
   lot, and "the principal even admitted that I had no intent to use the
   knife, that I had no accessibility to the knife," but he was still
   suspended for "possession" of a "weapon" on campus per the school's
   zero tolerance policy. The school also called police, but officers
   refused to press charges. After a district superintendent review of the
   5-day suspension, it was boosted to 20 days. "He's lucky that he didn't
   have a bayonet in the car," said his police chief grandfather. "He's a
   National Guardsman for God's sake." (Troy Record) ...How will kids ever
   learn to think when school officials can't master doing it themselves?

REVENGE OF THE URSIDAE: "Ice-Skating Bear Kills Circus Head" -- London
   (England) Times headline

DID YOU FIND an error? See http://www.thisistrue.com/errata.html

AS EXPECTED, LAST WEEK'S issue was late (except for those of you who took
   my advice and re-subscribed to the new mirrored distribution list). My
   long-time e-mail distribution company moved my server to a new
   location, and it was offline over the weekend. As they were getting the
   servers online, the Lyris folks sent out a test message --
   unfortunately to one of my lists. If you're on the Stella Awards list,
   that's what that was. I plan to relaunch the Stella list next year, but
   didn't really want the list used for testing. *grumble*

   To avoid any future problems (though there are no more moves planned),
   but also to get some great benefits from the new provider, which I'll
   talk about next year when they're implemented, it's best if you go to
   the TRUE web site and subscribe again: http://www.thisistrue.com
   Thanks!

OVER THE WEEKEND I got an update on a story from 2007 -- an odd death
   story that led to a lawsuit. It's a very quirky story, and the lawsuit
   has concluded. The story, the update, and some commentary are on my
   blog: http://www.thisistrue.com/blog-lessons_from_a_strange_death.html

THE REST OF THE STORIES: The other half of the stories include the man
   who survived his house burning down around him -- he slept through it.
   High school principal watched students have sex -- and then he showed
   the security camera video of the incident to his staff. Man arrested
   after beating up his roommate -- the charge was (really!) assault with
   a dangerous harmonica. And another zero tolerance story that's even
   more outrageous than the one included above -- and the principal still
   insists he is justified in kicking the innocent girl out of school. Get
   twice the stories without ads and other stuff = the same size issue,
   just more concentrated with great content. A full year is just $24, and
   best of all supports TRUE without our having to even consider selling
   out to a giant corporation. Won't you help save an innocent independent
   newsletter? http://www.thisistrue.com/upgrade.html

                                   o o o

AND AMONG THE LATEST postings to Jumbo Joke: My First Mammogram.
   http://www.JumboJoke.com

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TO SUBMIT STORIES and vote on what submissions are best, register for
   free at http://Groxx.com

BLOG COMMENT OF THE WEEK: "Alas, Europe is dutifully following in the
   USA's footsteps and beginning with fear-based policies exactly like
   what led to ZT in USA. There has been talk here in Switzerland of
   weapons bans and metal detectors, despite the fact that significant
   school violence is as rare here as it is in USA. (And I say this as
   someone who was a constant victim of bullying in school in USA and
   Switzerland... but that's another matter.) Common sense is long gone,
   and the media, in its endless quest for numbers thanks to
   sensationalism, has people believing that our world is more dangerous
   than ever, when in fact, there's never been a better time to be human."
   --Antonio Switzerland, in response to http://thisistrue.com/d-zt-nyt

TEN YEARS AGO IN TRUE: While going through the stories from 10 years ago,
   I found this ZT story -- and actually laughed out loud when I read the
   tagline. Maybe you will too: http://thisistrue.com/6734
   And don't forget http://i.thisistrue.com for a new story every day on
   your iPhone, BlackBerry, Android, or other web-enabled phone!

THIS WEEK'S HONORARY UNSUBSCRIBE goes to Qian Xuesen, an engineering
   genius who helped establish the U.S. space program (and the Jet
   Propulsion Laboratory), but was then callously thrown away by the
   government for ridiculous reasons, much to the U.S.'s detriment. For
   the full story see http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com/qian_xuesen.html
NOTE: The full Honorary Unsubscribe is included in the Premium edition --
   you don't have to click to a web site to read it. Support the
   publication that brings it to you! http://thisistrue.com/upgrade.html
HONORARY SUBSCRIBE ARCHIVE: http://www.HonoraryUnsubscribe.com

YOU CAN REALLY HELP TRUE: Send this issue (in its entirety, please) to a
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   newsletter, right? Pass the favor on! Thanks.

TIRED OF BEING TOLD WHERE TO GO? "Get Out of Hell Free" with our popular
   and (in?)famous cards, created in response to a reader telling Randy he
   was doomed. http://www.GOOHF.com

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