On the Plus Side

Stalwart Assurance of London, England, is offering a special deal to some customers. Annuity buyers who attest that they have smoked for at least 10 years will receive a higher annuity payment since, statistically, they will surely die sooner — though the buyers are not required to continue smoking. “It’s not intended to be something which is an inducement or encouragement to smoke,” said a Stalwart spokesman. “We are just reflecting the fact that the health damage has been done.” The company is now looking into similar policies for obese people, and perhaps those with high cholesterol. (Reuters) ...Suicidal obese smoking hypertensive heroin addicts should form a single line at Window A.