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Weirdest True Stories of 2009
This is True has been publishing since 1994, presenting odd news with off-the-wall commentary by Colorado humorist Randy Cassingham. Since its launch This is True has been the leading online "weird-but-true news" newsletter. This page is here to hold two stories from our weekly line-up of 7-9 new items -- the weirdest stories of the month. At the end of the year, the weirdest stories will be voted on by our Premium subscribers.
Sponsors of our Past Mailings
Trying to find a previous sponsor? Readers often write to ask "what was the site that advertised _____ a few months ago? I didn't need it before, but I do now...."
Most Popular Pages on This Site
The 15 most-popular pages on this site yesterday:
True-a-Day -- SSI/PHP Version
For more advanced webmasters, we also offer the True-a-Day feed in a format for servers set up for SSI and PHP. That way, the stories work even if your visitors don't have browsers capable of displaying javascript-generated content. SSI (Server-Side Include) allows your server to do the integration of the TAD feature with your page, rather than the end-user's browser.
This is True's Issue from Last Week
To get these issues free by e-mail each week, along with our regular six-figure audience in over 200 countries, just subscribe using the form at the bottom of the page -- your privacy is secure.
This is True's Current Weekly Issue
To get these issues free by e-mail each week, along with our regular six-figure audience in over 200 countries, just subscribe using the form at the bottom of the page -- your privacy is secure.
(Or cruise around the web site to see more samples, archive, and info on our terrific book collections of thousands of past stories.)
Why Subscribe?
Indeed, why bother? Because it's interesting, it's fun and, best of all, it's free!
But it has to be more than that. And it is.
There has to be a reason that so many people -- hundreds of thousands of them -- read This is True, and why they're from so many places. With subscribers in more than 200 countries, there's got to be something here that makes people want to read it week after week.
You've heard the phrase, "Truth is stranger than fiction"? The way Randy puts it is, "Truth is stranger than fiction because fiction has to make sense." Every week there are stories in True that are just too strange to make up! The week this page was written, for example, True ran the stories below.
One Week's Worth of True Stories
- Several people heeded an anonymous call to protest at Buckingham Palace in London for the right to "walk around in public in the nude". Three naked men were arrested. Virtually at the same time, a Scotland Yard report was issued that concludes that the greatest threat to the royal family is not terrorists, but mentally unbalanced people.
- The Tennessee State Senate approved a bill that allows motorists who run over animals to take them home and eat them. Previous law called for a jail sentence and fine.
- Psychologists say actors can become lost in their roles and lose sight of their own identies.
- A Florida lawyer files suit against a rental car company, saying they should have known the person they rented a car to might get drunk and crash -- because he's Irish, and they should have known the Irish drink a lot.
- A major car company plans to put "people-detecting infrared sensors" in trunks to pop open the lids when it detects people (like a release handle wouldn't be infinitely cheaper and more effective?)
- A major university refused to give Bill Clinton an honorary degree -- because he didn't earn it.
- Harvard Medical School anthropologists say television isn't making people in Fiji fat, but rather provoking eating disorders that go against their culture of liking large bodies.
- Mattel has come up with a way to get fathers to buy several more Barbie dolls for their little girls: dressing the dolls up in sports uniforms.
- And the featured headline of the week makes you wonder what kind of bizarre food fight provoked the Associated Press to announce: "Potato, Dancing Raisins Cut a Deal".
All of that was from just one issue! And we didn't go choose a particularly good issue to write about -- it was pretty much random, taken from the issue that was closest to the date this page was written. However, we openly admit that to have seen all of those stories that week, you would have had to be a "Premium" (paid) subscriber -- more on that below.
We couldn't make up that much weird stuff every week if we tried -- we'd need a huge staff to write it all, and we don't have one -- nor do we want one, since true stories are infinitely better! All of those stories above came from real newspapers -- not junky tabloids like the "National Weekly Star Enquirer" (as we like to call them). And we have a fresh load of that many stories every week -- and we've been doing it every week, non-stop, since 1994! We don't have to make up the stories, because there are that many stories about real people doing outrageous things every week. Really!
Is it Really Free?
Yep. Zip. Nada. No charge. Nothing. While there is a paid subscription option, most people who subscribe to True don't pay a dime: the only thing they had to provide was their e-mail address so we can send it to them. What did they get for free? About half of an issue -- they saw half the stories detailed above. Not descriptions of the stories, the entire stories, four in all, plus the Featured Headline of the Week. (For the rest of the stories, they saw a quick summary so they could see what they missed.) It makes for a nice quick read over the weekend -- or on Monday morning when you get to the office so you can start your week off right. If you really must have all the stories, then we welcome you to pay for them.
Meanwhile, you can subscribe for free and get new issues once per week (and no ad-only mailings!) There's a place below to put your e-mail address so you can get started.
No Strings Attached
If you're not convinced, maybe you're worried about your privacy. We do, after all, make you give us your e-mail address. If that's your concern, well, quite frankly, we think you're smart. But consider this: we didn't grow to 100,000+ readers in more than 200 countries by giving or selling our member addresses to spammers! We started this in 1994 -- people would hate us by now if we did that (and rightly so). So check out our Your Privacy page -- it's important enough that it's listed in the navigation bar on every one of our main pages (the blue thing to the left). You may also be interested in another link near the bottom of the list, the one to our Spam Primer. It will tell you in no uncertain terms what we think of spammers. We have, in fact, been extremely proactive in educating people about what's so wrong about spam because we think it's bad for the online publishing industry -- our bread and butter. In short, we would never reveal your address to anyone because it's bad for business. It's as simple as that.
When we say "no strings attached", we mean it. You can stay on the free distribution list for as long as you like -- it's not a "free sample" where you have to pay or get booted off. Obviously, we'll try to entice you to "upgrade" your subscription to Premium, and/or pick up some copies of our book collections, but you do not have to buy anything. Our goal is to provide you with such a great product for free that you'll really want to get some books or receive the benefits of a Premium subscription.
Upgrading Has Its Benefits!
What's this about the "Premium" subscription, now? Well, if we had to make a living by giving something away for free to a huge audience on the Internet every week, we would have starved to death years ago. The ongoing weekly costs of this is paid by clearly-marked third-party advertising in our e-mail distribution. (In fact, we hope you find True's included ads interesting and worth visiting the sponsors' sites to see what they offer -- many are unique and interesting products and services in themselves.) And again, we never send ads-only mailings.
Obviously, advertising in a short weekly publication certainly wouldn't pay our online costs and pay the rent or put food on the table, so we have a couple of products that we sell to make our way in the world. The first is the Premium subscription. Premium subscribers get more stories, they get them earlier in the week, they get certain "extras", and they get discounts on the second product: book collections. Plus, there are no third-party ads in the Premium edition, so if you would rather pay a subscription fee than look at ads, we offer that option.
We don't archive past issues of This is True on this web site, we compile them into handsome, well-printed, high-quality books -- one each year. They give you a permanent, easy-to-read archive you can read again and again -- the stories are timeless. Plus, they make terrific gifts! They're definitely not ordinary presents for your friends to set aside! And that's not just our idea: we sell huge quantities each holiday season.
On the navigation bar, you can click through to read about Premium subscriptions by clicking on Premium Upgrade (it costs just $24 per year) and you can read about our several book collections by clicking on True Books (they're just $11 a copy -- less if you're a Premium subscriber). But if you're not convinced you want that now, you may as well start out with a free subscription and make sure you'll like it. We're confident you will, so we're happy to wait for you to upgrade later.
The Third Way: You Don't Have to Choose Between Amateur Junk and the Mega-Media Monolith
Free Syndication: True-a-Day
We're often asked by web site owners if they can put our stories on their site, but we've had to refuse such requests -- until now! We're very pleased to offer True-a-Day (TAD).
(Advanced Webmasters:True-a-Day is also available in a SSI-PHP version)
By adding a single line of code on any page on your site, you can automatically show your visitors a new story every day. What a great way to get return visitors! With the default settings (plus centering), it looks like this:
This is True Subscription Basics
This is True is e-mailed to subscribers in more than 200 countries. If you aren't already subscribed, here is how you can have bizarre-but-true stories like these sent to your mailbox every week. There are two options. Either way, the text of This is True is for your personal use only -- it may not be reprinted, posted on the web, read over the air on radio or TV, etc., or posted to other mailing lists without prior, written permission.
We protect your privacy: Our e-mail privacy statement explains it all.
Option One, Premium
Get all the True stories every week for just $24/year with these features:- Arrives much sooner than the other feed.
- You get the entire column, not the abbreviated selection in the free feed.
- No third-party advertising to interrupt your reading.
- You get a 20% discount on This is True book collections, with no minimum or maximum -- if you're buying books as gifts (a great idea), this benefit could easily pay for your Premium subscription!
Here's how: For instant online ordering with credit/debit cards, click here for a secure online order page or click here for more information
Reader Favorites, Essays and Special Issues
So Fun You Have to Share
There are certain stories that just beg to be told to others, especially when there's a photo involved. These stories were put here so you could send the URL to a friend.
- The True Story of Leonard's F-ing Bar (Oct 99)
- New Orleans P.D. Demonstrates How to Act at Mardi Gras (Mar 00)
- Mike the Headless (and still living) Chicken (Mar 00)
- The Lord's Prayer -- via Cell Phone Messaging (Jul 01)
- My Life as a Chair ...or How not to Sneak Across the Border (Jul 01)
- It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Vaginaboy! (Nov 01)
- The Billy Parcel Service Doll: He Delivers (Jan 02)
- The Sign Marks Where You Can Camp. You thought it was What? (Apr 02)
- If You Keep Getting Lost, Consider Putting Up Your Own Road Signs! (May 02)
Continue reading "Reader Favorites, Essays and Special Issues" »
This is True Details
There are lots of links to further information below, from how to get a free e-mail subscription to True to info on True book collections with hundreds of stories to info on how you can help reduce the amount of spam clogging the net! We hope you'll take a moment to read through the categories below. Or, to cut through the text and just see the links, click here.
Sample This is True Stories
A regular issue of This is True is 7-9 stories plus the "headline of the week". Premium subscribers get all of the stories, while free edition subscribers get four stories (plus the headline), like this:
Sent Packing
Charles D. McKinley, 25, of Brooklyn, N.Y., had four weeks of vacation coming, so he decided to visit his parents in DeSoto, Texas. Rather than buy a plane ticket for $320, McKinley, a shipping clerk, packed himself into a shipping crate and air-expressed himself home, charging the fees to his employer. When the crate was delivered to his parents' front step, McKinley pushed out of the box and shook hands with the "shaken and frightened" delivery driver. The driver called the police. After an investigation by the FBI, the U.S. attorney, postal inspectors, the Federal Aviation Administration and the Transportation Security Administration, McKinley was charged as a stowaway, a federal misdemeanor. (Dallas Morning News) ...If he had only waited for the driver to leave, he would have been home free.
Disquieting
Librarians are protesting a new "action figure" being released by Archie McPhee and Co. of Seattle, Wash. The $8.95 doll, complete with "amazing push-button shushing action!", is "a lovely idea and a lovely tribute to my chosen profession," says librarian Nancy Pearl, 58, whom the doll is modeled after. But other librarians don't like it one bit. "The shushing thing just put me right over the edge," says Diane DuBois of the Caribou (Me.) Public Library. "It's so stereotypical I could scream." (AP)...Hey! What part of "shush" don't you understand?
There's a Cloud in Every Silver Lining
Downside to Fewer Violent Deaths:
Transplant Organ Shortage Grows
New York Times headline
Links to True are Greatly Appreciated
I'm constantly asked if it's OK to put a link in to the This is True site. But of course! We greatly appreciate your links; word of mouth is the primary way we have reached new readers.
This is True's Book Collections
More than 4,000 True Stories and Headlines!
Our massive archive uses time-proven wireless technology! Needs no AC power or batteries! Completely portable! High-contrast display is easy on the eyes! Yes, they're our high-quality trade paperback books.
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True's Forum the Victim of Online Hacker Criminals
The "This is True" and "Stella Awards" Forum is offline forever.
It was hacked twice: the first time, the Forum itself was defaced to stop you from being able to post your thoughts. That was a challenge I wouldn't back away from: I reinforced the security, recovered all the previous posts, and went on.
The second time, however, was much more serious: an exploit in one of the Forum's programming modules was used to exploit the server itself, and it was literally taken over by a spammer to send junk mail. Ironic, considering the same server hosts the Spam Primer, which warns about spammers' scams and helps you learn how to protect yourself from their schemes.
Continue reading "True's Forum the Victim of Online Hacker Criminals" »
Changing Your Existing True Subscription
For info on upgrading your subscription to Premium, Click Here.
(Premium Subscribers: See the very end of any Premium issue for address change info -- please don't e-mail Randy. If you're still on the Free Feed and want to unsubscribe that or change its address, use the directions below -- following them will not affect your Premium subscription.)
Current subscribers must do their own address changes per our Terms of Service. If you need to change your address or wish to "unsubscribe", here's what to do.
Continue reading "Changing Your Existing True Subscription" »
Why Publish Letters from "Idiots"?
Now and then there's a story or item that brings a nearly violent response from a small subset of readers. Even though they are usually represent a very small minority of my readers, I'll often publish such letters. Why?
It is often a waste of time, which is why I try not to answer moronic complaints directly. I do try to choose interesting letters, or particularly outrageous or relevant ones, to answer in True or on the various pages on this site. But there's a wider reason. Part of it is a matter of principle, but that's not enough of a reason. Part of it is that when a contentious debate comes up, I get a lot of people passing the issues and page URLs around, which helps increase the subscription numbers. That's nice, but that's not really enough of a reason either.
The main reason is readers love it.
About This is True and Randy Cassingham
Randy Cassingham created This is True in 1994, while working at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. (Details)
Educated as a journalist, Randy was not interested in a career as a reporter: he wanted to skip directly to syndicated columnist. But syndicates weren't interested in untested talent, so he instead became a technical publisher at JPL in Pasadena, Calif. -- "a great place to work," Randy says, "if you have to work for someone else."
Continue reading "About This is True and Randy Cassingham" »
This is True Sources
This is True stories come from "legitimate" mainstream printed news sources (never "tabloids" or TV news). The facts from these articles are the basis of True's stories, which are written by Randy Cassingham in their entirety. Each story ends in a credit to the source, such as the Los Angeles Times or the Denver Post. Most sources are local papers. Note, however, Randy tries as much as possible to credit the original source. For example, if the newspaper credits a wire service as the source, that's what the credit says; it's usually not credited to the specific paper Randy found the story in. Thus you'll often see the source being one of the major news wires, which are: AP (Associated Press, USA) Reuters (Reuters Ltd., UK) PA (Press Association, UK) AFP (Agence France-Presse, France)
Privacy and Security Statement
We hate junk mail! "Spam" mail is the bane of the Internet. If you aren't bothered by it, you probably will be soon. We refuse to add to this illegitimate use of the Internet: we not only will not provide your e-mail address to any advertiser, we actually work rather hard to keep it secret. You don't have to request that your e-mail address be "concealed" -- we "conceal" all subscriber addresses. Your address will not be revealed with anyone who is not an employee of This is True.
Frequently Asked Questions
- I have questions about the copyright/forwarding
- The issue I just got arrived on Saturday, but the date on it is last Sunday! Why?
- I like Randy's style. Will he come give a talk to my group?
- What in the world does "arcie" mean?
- I suddenly stopped getting my issues. Are you on vacation?
- Can I get back issues that I missed? Or, do you have a story about <whatever> you can send me?
- Is True associated with the "Darwin Awards" that go around by e-mail?
- Can I give True books or Premium upgrades as gifts?
- True seems to use an odd punctuation style around quotation marks. Why?
Countries Subscribed to True by E-mail
If you are receiving This is True and the country you're in is not on this list, please let us know! Thanks.
Frequently Asked Questions About True's Copyright
- Can I print True out for my friends?
- Can I set up an auto e-mail reflector?
- Storing True on your hard disk
- Can I lift excerpts?
- Doesn't True violate news service copyrights?
- How about posting it on my Intranet/BBS?
- Can I post excerpts on my blog, web page, newsgroup, etc.?
- I work for a radio station/newspaper; can I read True over the air/print it in our paper?
- But I can take some and claim "Fair Use", right?
- I love it! How do I get more?
- The Bottom Line.
Continue reading "Frequently Asked Questions About True's Copyright" »
Premium Tagline Challenge
Every month, the Premium subscribers get a "Tagline Challenge", one of the several "extra" features that are found only in the Premium issues. And every month, even though I note you just have to "reply with your best effort", I get people sending in their entries with a note saying "I wasn't sure where to send this, but...."
I'm not sure what the misunderstanding is: simply hit reply in your e-mailer! Failing that, my address is in every issue. The address shown in the Premium edition (the one in the mail's "Reply-to" header and at the bottom) is a special address for Premium subscribers -- it gets a bit higher priority than my regular "arcie" address. Free edition subscribers can't hit reply; you can.
What is RSS?
By using a special reader, you can get regular information -- including news and newsletter subscriptions -- from multiple web sites, all in one place. No more running from site to site to see if there are updates you are interested in. This is True's free edition is now available by RSS feed.
Giving True Gifts
Frequently Asked Question: How do I give This is True items as gifts?
Answer: It's easy! We're happy to have you order True books and Premium subscriptions for your friends! We will ship books anywhere in the world.
What the HELL?!!?
November 2000 Update, April 2001 Update, 27 February 2009(!!) Update, & 2 March 2009 Update |
The Briefest of Backgrounds
For those coming in from other links, This is True is a pioneer in online publishing. Since 1994, it has been the online leader of "weird news". Subscribers get stories every week by e-mail for free with true tales of human stupidity, all tagged with humorous, opinionated or ironic commentary by Randy Cassingham. This winning combination of well-written human interest material and humor has brought us more than 100,000 weekly online readers in more than 200 countries, plus it runs in newspapers in three countries as a feature column. (For more details on any of this, surf this site via the navigation bar to the left. To subscribe online, see below.)
Upgrading Your Subscription
Did you know there are two online editions of This is True?
| "I'd rather attempt to saw off my leg with a hacksaw in the middle of a desert while chained to a car leaking gasoline slowly running towards an open flame than let my Premium subscription lapse." --Robert, California |
