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The True Story of Leonard's Bar
See Update Below!
I showed a friend the story below from the 3 October 1999 issue, and she found it way too hard to believe. I, of course, bet it was indeed true, and to prove it I drove down to Colorado Springs (about two hours south of me). As you will see, the story's true.
Valentine's Greetings from Mars
When This is True brings you greetings, we don't think small, we bring you the world! In this case, the planet Mars. (Yes, we know Venus is the goddess of love, but this is more up our Current Events alley, OK?)
![[Mars heart-shaped mesa - Width 255 meters (279 yards)]](http://www.thisistrue.com/images/mars1.jpg)
This photo from Mars (courtesy NASA/Jet Propulsion Laboratory's Mars Global Surveyor) just might be a holiday greeting from "The Face on Mars". Or maybe not -- the official NASA caption reads:
Mike the Headless Chicken
Update! See below.
Sometimes you come across a story that really, really seems too weird to be true. Sure we've all heard about chickens who run around the barnyard after getting their heads chopped off. But for over a year? So in an effort to know, for sure, that the news is The Truth, I went looking for evidence that Mike was real. Here's what I found -- and the story from the 26 March 2000 issue of This is True.
Sign of the Times
One of the disadvantages of writing a text-only column is the inability to realize the potential of "a picture is worth a thousand words". But then, that's what web sites are for! It can make a cute story a hysterical story. From the 30 April 2000 issue of This is True:
The Big Easy: Do As We Say, Not As We Do!
Updated! See Below.
From This is True, issued 5 March 2000:
Continue reading "The Big Easy: Do As We Say, Not As We Do!" »
It's Not a Bird, It's Not Plane, It's Vaginaboy!
Sometimes you just have to see it to believe it. From True's 4 November 2001 issue:
Continue reading "It's Not a Bird, It's Not Plane, It's Vaginaboy!" »
Camp Innuendo
From True's 28 April 2002 issue:
Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs
Artist Richard Ankrom kept getting mixed up when driving a certain section of the L.A. freeways, so he took it on himself to fix the problem -- and make it a performance art project at the same time. It succeeded exactly as he had hoped: everyone, including the California Department of Transportation, thought it was a "legit" change in the sign. From the 12 May 2002 issue:
We're Off to Pluto!
Yes, True is about weird news. More importantly, it's about thinking, which implies a quest for knowledge and understanding. That's most evident in Randy's editorials; here are two of them on the same subject, starting with an editorial in May 2002:
Not Available in Any Store!
From our 9 February 2003 issue:
We Have Just One Objection!
Yeah, it's OK to have the half-naked woman. Even the slogan can stay. But you still have to change the sign....
Can I Get a Refill?
Readers thought I was unfair for calling the clerk a dummy (especially for giving up his own car!) Read the story, from the 21 September 2003 issue, and then look at the security camera photo. And you be the judge!
At Least She's Smiling
From our 28 September 2003 issue:
April Fool!
First, it's just a fun story. But it was extra fun for me since I know one of the principals involved: Mark Mason, an on-air personality at KEX radio in Portland, Ore. Anytime I'm in Portland, Mark has me on his show, and it's a blast to be there. Anyway, the story, from True's 4 April 2004 issue:
Miami Vice? He Wishes
It takes all kinds.Who knows what this guy was doing trying to pull over women driving alone late at night. First, the story; then, the visuals! From True's 16 May 2004 issue:
Cops Confirm: He Was Nailed!
Sometimes the story just isn't complete without a photo ...or two. From True's 30 May 2004 issue:
Well, the UK Didn't Really Want to Be in the EU Anyway
The erroneous cover is no longer shown on Eurostat's web site, but that's not going to stop This is True! The story appeared in True's 24 October 2004 issue:
Wailing
The citizens of Wales are furious at the European Union following the publication of its annual statistical report. The report's cover shows a map of the EU countries -- with Wales conspicuously absent. A Eurostat spokesman said the error was "just a design fault" and was "certainly not deliberate." MEP Glenys Kinnock of Wales said her country is "certainly not a part of Europe that gets forgotten," and promised "they will not forget us again." (London Telegraph) ...At least not for the three to five years it takes for their blistered ears to heal.
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| The front cover of the 2004 edition of the Eurostat yearbook, with a closer look at the offending region. The map of Europe is conspicuously missing Wales, which is supposed to be on the western side of England. Its absence makes the Irish Sea abnormally large. | |
Four Military Careers Partially "Choppered"
So much for the concept of "the difference between men and boys is the cost of their toys"! They may have a multi-million-dollar toy, but these guys are definitely still boys. from True's 14 November 2004 issue:
Continue reading "Four Military Careers Partially "Choppered"" »
"I've Seen Weirder"
You've got to love a cop who looks at something bizarre and utters, "I've seen weirder." Especially when I can find a similar story that happened so soon after his case that I can feature them together! From True's 12 December 2004 issue:
Make a Run For the Border
You'll no doubt have questions after reading the story and seeing the photo.
Answer #1: They let the smugglers go because they catch so many people doing stuff like this that they only bother to prosecute the most egregious cases.
Our Kind of Hostage Problem
Sometimes a photo is just the thing to finish off a good story. From True's 27 February 2005 issue:
We Recognized His Plastic Smile
"Our mujahideen ... have managed to capture the American soldier John Adam after killing a number of his colleagues," an Al Qaeda web site said in Arabic, claiming it had captured a soldier in Iraq. It even posted a photo of the soldier, bound and at gunpoint. But "no units have reported anyone missing," said a Pentagon spokesman. A spokesman for Dragon Models USA has cleared up the mystery: the photo shows an action figure, "Special Ops Cody", which the company sold in stores in Kuwait. Even the rifle shown is a toy, and included in the package. "Everything the guy is wearing is exactly what comes with our figure," says the spokesman. (Reuters, AP) ...The Pentagon spokesman said they plan to pay a ransom, "as soon as we can find a few Monopoly games."
These Photos are Not for Discriminating Consumers!
When is the discriminatory treatment of women not really discriminatory? How about when an ad campaign shows women and men being treated exactly the same? Nope: that's still discrimination! At least, in South Africa. But to really judge, you need to see the photos, which follow the story from True's 13 March 2005 issue:
Continue reading "These Photos are Not for Discriminating Consumers!" »
Saaya Irie Photos
Saaya Melts Hearts -- But May Break Yours
A photo is "worth 1000 words," so yes, we've got the photos (below). But usually you need some words to put the photos in context. Before exhibiting any lust, be sure to note the girl's age! From True's 22 May 2005 issue:
Tattooed & Screwed
Each month, Premium subscribers get an extra story without a tagline, which they're invited to supply -- otherwise known as the monthly Tagline Challenge. Two things usually come out of the Challenge efforts: 1) readers find out just how hard it is to come up with a good story tag, and 2) the collective brainpower of the Premium edition subscribers is a mighty force -- the lineup of entries is usually quite funny. The following story is from the June 2005 Challenge. Challenge stories aren't usually posted on the web site, but this one is because of the photo that goes with it:
Canada: Outpruding the U.S.
See Update Below!
The U.S. has its Janet Jackson scandal; Canada has a scandal over a completely clothed woman with a modest neckline. And naturally, we have the photos to illustrate this earth-shattering story from True's 21 August 2005 issue:
Just in Time for Halloween Or...?
Despite the bravado expressed by the company's spokesman, "Brands On Sale" appears to have backed off -- the costumes are gone from their web site. But we have photos!
Blame It on the Intern
Political dirty tricks are nothing new. What's new is being busted doing it on the Internet. Yeah, they took the photo down, but thanks to Google caches and such, idiocy can live forever. From True's 5 February 2006 issue:
Campy Campaign
Coleen Rowley, running for Congress from Minnesota, has apologized to her opponent, incumbent U.S. Rep. John Kline, for a photo of Kline on her web site. The photo used Kline's face pasted over a publicity shot of Nazi prison camp commandant Col. Wilhelm Klink from the 1960s TV show, Hogan's Heroes. Rowley's campaign manager blamed the deed on "a volunteer Web site person who didn't understand the implications of using the Colonel Klink image." (St. Paul Pioneer Press) ...So can we assume he's been "Disssssmissssed!"?
What Police Car Videos are For?
Video Captures and Update Below
So much for taping drunk drivers stumbling around. This cop had a much better use for his vehicle camera system, spending hours of on-duty time making, and later watching, recordings. From True's 5 March 2006 issue:
Bad Boy, Bad Boy, Whatcha Gonna Do?
Jack Munsey, 36, a Martin County, Fla., sheriff's deputy, has been fired after an investigation showed he was using his patrol car video system "for unofficial purposes." Video from Munsey's car camera included zooms of bikini-clad women, "an extreme close-up of a motorcycle passenger's breasts," and scores of other "inappropriate" images, the investigation found. A Police Benevolent Association attorney says the various shots of multiple women were not a "regular" thing, but "only an isolated, dumb, stupid and [juvenile] event." (Palm Beach Post) ...The PBA's message: for a citizen, twice is "multiple offense". For a cop, dozens and dozens is an "isolated event".
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| Just two frames from hours of video. Deputy Munsey contested his firing, calling the situation an "isolated event." (Photos courtesy Martin County Sheriff) |
Here Kitty Kitty!
Another example of a photo really adding to a story. From True's 25 June 2006 issue:
Bearcat
Suzanne Giovanetti of West Milford, N.J., was sitting reading when her husband said there was a bear in their back yard. She grabbed her camera and ran out on her deck to find the bear had been treed -- by the neighbor's tabby cat, Jack. After 10-15 minutes the bear finally jumped out of the tree and ran, with Jack in hot pursuit. It escaped by climbing another tree. "He doesn't want anybody in his yard," Jack's owner said. (Newark Star-Ledger) ...Yeah, but the bear doesn't know Jack.
Welcome to Western Ideals
Yet Another Story where people will want to see the photos involved. Here they are, from the 2 July 2006 issue:
Clever Girl
"My intentions were good," said Chen Dan, an on-air host of the Women's Channel for China's Changsha TV. "I hoped to draw people's attention to women's health," she said, "but because the format was inappropriate it caused a huge backlash." She was suspended from her job. The advertising she posed for was to support the Shangmei Gynecology Hospital in Changsha. The "format" was topless photos with the caption, "Clever Girls Love Themselves More". Thanks to strategically posed hair, Chen didn't actually reveal much, but the Xinhua news agency editorialized it was "a shame breasts have become the leading actor." (Reuters) ...Just like in the rest of the world.
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