Zero Tolerance Gets Back to Normal

Fifth-grader Paul Volz, 11, dealt with his fear of terrorism through art, drawing the burning World Trade Center towers. He was proud of his work: he taped the picture up near his study cubicle at school in High Ridge, Mo. "When I asked him why he did this, he just looked at me and smiled," said North Jefferson Intermediate School principal Jeff Boyer. "This is totally inappropriate and Paul's behavior has to change," he told the boy's parents. Boyer suspended the boy for three days for smiling at the drawing on grounds it was "disruptive physical conduct or speech" and "communication of a threatening nature." The school district supports the principal, noting "Some drawings can be therapeutic and others can be offensive." (St Louis Post-Dispatch) ..."We have met the enemy and he is us." --Walt Kelly (1913-1973), American cartoonist and social commentator.

Proof The Terrorists Have Won

Girl Scout troops in Martin County, Fla., decided to have a Mother's Day "scavenger hunt" at the Treasure Coast Square Mall. Fathers would accompany their daughters and go "window shopping" for items on the hunt list, marking them off as they spotted them, and then shop for a nice present for Mom when they were done. At least 150 father/daughter pairs signed up, but mall management wouldn't allow the hunt, citing "security" concerns in the post-9/11 world. "Since Sept. 11, we have looked at our security procedures very closely," said mall spokeswoman Rachelle Crain. First, "How do we know they're Girl Scouts?" she said of the uniformed 5- to 18-year-old girls. But, more importantly, "Our enhanced security prohibits us from hosting events that allow participants to wander freely around the mall area." (Stuart News) ...Right. Their dads could whip out a concealed credit card or something.

We Recognized His Plastic Smile

"Our mujahideen ... have managed to capture the American soldier John Adam after killing a number of his colleagues," an Al Qaeda web site said in Arabic, claiming it had captured a soldier in Iraq. It even posted a photo of the soldier, bound and at gunpoint. But "no units have reported anyone missing," said a Pentagon spokesman. A spokesman for Dragon Models USA has cleared up the mystery: the photo shows an action figure, "Special Ops Cody", which the company sold in stores in Kuwait. Even the rifle shown is a toy, and included in the package. "Everything the guy is wearing is exactly what comes with our figure," says the spokesman. (Reuters, AP) ...The Pentagon spokesman said they plan to pay a ransom, "as soon as we can find a few Monopoly games."