Thank You for Calling

Tom Mabe really hates telemarketers. “When you’re self-employed, you jump when the phone rings, hoping it’s a client, not a doggone telemarketer,” he said. At first, the Louisville, Ky., musician was patient — “ I was nice for weeks!” — but when the calls wouldn’t let up he started playing gags on the salespeople. “They’d call about a security system and I’d say, I’m robbing the place right now, but you might want to try back later’.” He told a funeral parlor trying to sell a burial plan he was waiting for a sign from God as to whether he should kill himself, and the funeral call was it. “You’re the angel of death, man,” he told him. The gag apparently did not perturb the funeral man. “If we can get the paperwork out to you this afternoon, can you hold off [killing yourself] until tomorrow?” was the reply. (AP) ...Telemarketers driving you to suicide? Don’t do it! Please go after the telemarketers instead.