The Captain’s Hook

In its first month of operations, the crew of Carnival Cruise Lines’ new ship MS Paradise have put nine passengers ashore for violating the ship’s strict no-smoking policy. The rules, which passengers must sign before boarding, say that anyone caught smoking will be dropped off at the next port and must find their own way home. “It’s very easy on a nonsmoking ship to detect smoke,” a Carnival spokesman said. “Some of them were caught on deck late at night. Others were caught in their cabins.” To reinforce the rule, the line is considering adding a $250 “fumigation charge” to violators’ bills. (Reuters) ...Maybe inserting language about “walking the plank” would be more convincing.