The Good News is He Dug His Own Grave

Groundhog Day was a fiasco in Canada this year. Groundhogs supposedly pop their heads out of the ground each year and look for their shadow to predict how much winter remains. The U.S.’s woodchuck did his job, but Canada’s Wiarton Willy, it was announced to the masses gathered for the day’s ceremonies, had died two days before. The news made children in the crowd cry, and organizers displayed Willy’s dead body, clutching a carrot, in a coffin. But now, a cover-up has been revealed: the dead rodent they displayed wasn’t Willy at all, but an imposter. When they found Willy, he had apparently been dead for weeks. “When the handler pulled him out, his remains were not presentable for public viewing,” a spokesman admitted. (Reuters) ...The cover-up isn’t over yet: we now need to know if they murdered an innocent groundhog for the coffin display.