Theatricus Maximus

During a court appearance in Santa Rosa, Calif., Henry Scholten, 21, of Healdsburg suddenly shouted “You’ll never take me alive!”, jumped up on the defense table, leapt onto the court clerk’s desk, and from there pounced onto the judge’s bench and threatened her, sheriff deputies say. Two citizens helped court deputies capture Scholten as other deputies streamed in from other courtrooms to assist. But Scholten continued to fight so strongly that officers had to shackle him to a wheelchair to roll him off to jail. Scholten is being held on multiple charges, including threatening an executive officer, escape, contempt of court, resisting arrest, and battery on a peace officer. And the charge he was in court to face? Illegal skateboarding. (AP) ...Oh. Never mind.