You Are What You Eat

Christopher Lyons, a drug dealer serving time in prison, filed a $310,000 lawsuit against the Kellogg Co., claiming that a “defective” Pop Tart injured his mouth and caused him nightmares, which lead to 72 hours of sleep deprivation. U.S. District Judge Benjamin Gibson dismissed the suit, saying there was no proof of suffering worth at least $50,000, the minimum for a federal lawsuit — partly, the judge noted, because Lyons had lost no wages and incurred no medical expenses. (AP) ...But your honor: I easily earned $50,000 in 72 hours on the outside!