You’re Fired

In the wake of continued high-publicity shootings around the country, the U.S. Postal Service’s Board of Governors has decided that any postal employee found in possession of a gun at work will be summarily dismissed. “No ifs, ands or buts,” Postmaster General Marvin Runyon said. “Employees everywhere — in every company — should come to work without having to worry,” he said. (AP) ...Let’s see: life in prison doesn’t deter them, but the thought of losing a high stress job will. Got it.